Pointless Rambling
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βHey there you young whipper snapper! Did I ever tell you the story of my first ramble? I remember my first ramble. It was back in the summer of sixty-four, or sunny-year-mas as we called summer at the time. Anyway, I was rambling about my hat to Neil Armstrong, who said he had been on the moon but I knew it was fake and they were really on Mars. Anyway, to the point, I was rambling, which was called... Hey, wake up!... thank-you. Anyway, that's the story of how I discovered cheese.β
~ Rambling Old Man on Rambling
Pointless Rambling? Oh my, don't get me started on pointless rambling. Pointless rambling is just so.... pointless.... and.... ramble-istic! I can pointlessly ramble all day. In fact, did you know that Eminem is the greatest pointless rambler ever[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]? Speaking of Eminem, I like the candy that was named after him. I wonder what would happen if he changed his name to Skittle.... hmmm. Oh, I could wonder all day about candy and rappers. Hey, candy and rappers! Candy rappers! Get it? They're like, rappers named after candy, and it's such a wonderful pun. If you don't get it, it means like, "candy wrappers", which are those paper things that go around your candy. Now I want some candy. Who else wants some candy? Because I want some candy!
Oh yes, about pointless rambling. Yes, pointless rambling... oh, where do I start on pointless rambling? Let's see. Ah, yes, I know....
[edit] History of Pointless Rambling
Pointless Rambling dates back to the days of the Declaration of Independence. Hey, wasn't that that thing that gave America its constitution and government or whatever? Yeah. Anyway, pointless rambling has been known to date back to the 1300s. The 1300s were a great century. Did you know that the year 1337 was set in the 1300s? Yup, it's true. Anyway, let's get back on subject. So, this guy holds the record for the longest time of non-stop pointless rambling. I know some dude that wants to break that record though; he's been practicing for weeks. I smell chicken soup. It's kind of weird, y'know, it's like, chicken and soup all in one. Sometimes I like potatoes with my soup. Yeah. Good stuff there.
Pointless rambling is still highly present in today's society. Take George W. Bush for example. Heh, his last name is "Bush". Sometimes when I think of him, I imagine an apple tree giving an address to the nation. And that's just weird, because we all know that apple trees aren't bushes. Kind of funny when you think of it. Speaking of funny, have you ever seen Family Guy? Funny stuff there. Yup.
[edit] Truly
Eh. I just felt like putting this in here out of my boredom. I'm bored. And hungry. Bored and hungry. Maybe I should eat something fun like.... Lucky Charms! They're magically delicious, and magic is fun. It's food too, so it solves all your problems. I might find the cure for cancer through the power of Lucky Charms one day! Cancer is also a yummy form of crab. It's also a zodiac sign. But I don't have that sign, unfortunately. Do you know what else is a good sign? A stop sign. It has big white letters that allow the driver to think about how calming it is, before they go into oncoming traffic. Speaking of traffic, how many people go on Uncyclopedia a day? I would pay good money to find out. Speaking of money, have you ever seen a 5 dollar coin? Those things would be so sweet...change in my pocket. Have you ever gone swimming, and in the water there is a pocket of air in your swimsuit? Neither have I, but I have seen it. Dang, it would suck if I was blind. Then I could not look at any of these pages. How many pages does Harry Potter have?


