Work

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You are like him after a day of work.

For other funny uses, see Work (disambiguation).

Work doesn't actually exist. It is the facade by which most western affiliated people play up to between masturbating and being hunted by grue's.

1 Work by Region
2 The History of 'Work'
3 Types of Workers
4 See Also

[edit] Work by Region

Divided into the World of Richie-Bitches, European Maggots, and Sand-Diggers.

[edit] First World

This young chav lives at home so he doesn't work.

In the U.S.A., Canada, and some enlightened European countries such as Britain or France (under doubt, because of Bohem's), work consists mostly of surfing the internet for pr0n whenever the boss is not looking.

For this they expect health benefits and new snow scrapers. Also, in Canada, workers tend to spend much of their time non-working by throwing crumpled up pieces of paper at each other and apologizing profusely. Occasionally a game of "Balled-up Vital Document Hockey" will be started. The victors of these games often expect tickets to the next game of their favourite hockey team.

[edit] Second World

A.K.A. ...the remnants of the Soviet Empire. In these struggling countries, which have at least cast off their yoke of central planning (freeing up time from the former "day job"), work consists mostly of scouring the Black Market for useful goods on the cheap, and reselling them for cash or Marlboros, without keeping any paperwork. Most of these countries are located in Eastern Europe. Work here often involves moving rocks, spitting on uranium to make it decay faster, or herding chickens into a pen with no walls for pieces of paper with the Russian dollar sign (*) on them. This paper can be traded for more of the same paper and is at about .000000000023134 of a American dollar.

[edit] Third World

In the Third World, or as they are now known, the developing nations, work consists of either below-subsistence farming or one of two forms of employment: either scraping a monoculture cash crop out of the drought-ridden soil for a multi-national corporation, or assembling cheap goods that cannot be afforded locally - again, for a multi-national corporation. The latter two typically pay approximately US$1 per week (usually enough to feed or clothe a family of four - choose your priorities), while the first results in gradual starvation and AIDS.

This region stretches from 95% of Africa (southern excluded, somewhat) to the Middle-Eastern Areas, probably even Indo-China and so on.

[edit] Fourth World

This is Mars. This is also known as (second Earth). People who work on Mars are fourth world workers and generally follow liberal politics. Mostly this consists of acting in movies and growing plants and fighting aliens and unfreezing alien ice cap machines, and playing around with women who have three big, squishy bewbs. Bill Clinton is perhaps the best known example with humble fourth world beginnings.

[edit] Fifth World

This is what it's called when a third world worker is exported to Mars to assist with watering the plants and other landscaping chores.

[edit] Sixth World

The Moon. This is a fun place to work because of all the lunar craters. However, one must beware of frequent and deadly attacks from above. Space moths plague the countryside causing the agricultural industry there to struggle. Thus, working conditions are abysmal. Plus there's no air, water or food. The average lifespan of workers there is about ten minutes if they hold their breath good and long. This also causes the farms to not be defended from space moths and also to not even get planted.

[edit] Seventh World

Who knows where this is? Some say that seventh world workers are an evolutionarily distinct caste of people/mutants that live in the sewers of third world countries, but in order to qualify as a seventh world community, these workers must have worked on the Moon for one year before returning in their horribly mutated form.

[edit] Bewb World

A.K.A. ...Heaven. When a first world worker dies on the job, he will wake up in a job in a bewb world country, in Heaven. It is quite nice and soft there, since the Earth is nothing but disembodied boobs. However, ploughing the fields must be done with a broom, since all those mammaries can feel pain and always scream when you walk on 'em.

[edit] The History of 'Work'

One day, a long time ago, the great Pharaoh decided that his golden age should end, because it was boring to Bishop Tutu. So he killed all the gods that he had enslaved to plough his fields and they were dead forever. That also explains why there's only one god these days, God, but that's another matter! The point is, after Pharaoh killed off all 'em goddies, then he started to get old and put his subjects to work in the fields. He told them that it was an aphrodisiac, and they believed him until he started laughing. Ever since then, commoners have known from birth that work is for suckers!

Another widely-held belief is that the Church (eg. Tom Cruise) invented work directly after it invented sin and outlawed the use of electricity in the mid-6th centuries. This is because they know everything. There were several rebellions against this new thing called work, all of which failed miserably and usually ended up in more work, such as the third working rebellion of 1908 which of course ended in the set-up of the 9 to 5 professional world. Teknihcpay