Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
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The Whiskey Tango Foxtrot was a major dance craze that swept central Europe during the Prohibition epoch (c 1901-989 AD).
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[edit] Whiskey
The popular dance style was accidentally invented by Adolf Hitler in an American Eagle store in West Berlin in 1929, after a violent and bloody raid by US secret agent Eliot Ness. Adolf, having been suddenly deprived of his favorite drink (namely, vodka) went totally bonkers with rage and started to spin in rapid circles whilst goose stepping and screaming bad Austrian poetry. Near the end of his wild tantrum, the mad little Nazi was unexpectedly showered with roses by his appreciative German audience. Realizing that he was onto something, Hitler then had the new dance analyzed by his top German nuclear physicists, had it transformed into a weapon of mass destruction, and used it to destroy many unsuspecting European ballet theaters during the Second World War 2.
[edit] Tango
Because of unforeseen mutations from radiation poisoning, the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot underwent many a metamorphosis over the following centuries, including brief stints as Prime Minister of Israel (1957-1958), a Polish brand of moose cheese (1973-1977), and a stately ballroom exercise in England (1982-1983), until when it was finally introduced to the jaded American public by the Blue Man Group on The Lawrence Welk Show in 1996. Everybody hated it.
[edit] Foxtrot
In a final dying gasp, the dance was most recently featured during the 1999 PGA half-time extravaganza at the Oscar-Mike Golf tournament (performed by a crack team of Lithuanian break dancers). Soon after this multimedia event, all cultural and Internet references to the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and breakdancing were expunged from modern history because everybody hated them so.
