Vi

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

The crappiness of this article begins with its lowercase letter. Do not be alarmed. This is a necessary inclusion.

This article best viewed with Emacs, if you can wait for it to load.

“:quitsaveandquitwtfexitnowyoumotherfuckerwhatthefuckisthisehereiswed ”

~ Oscar Wilde on vi

“GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN RIGHT! THAT'S BECAUSE I WROTE THAT SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER!”

~ Samuel L Jackson on Oscar Wilde's above quote

“Six? ”

~ Bruce Campbell on vi

vi (pronounced /vim/) was the best text editor in the Universe, when no other editors existed and 'ed' was not present in the system. It has lost the Editor War to Emacs and it's used for monkeys who enjoy typing semicolons followed by random letters.

1 History of Vi
- 1.1 Editor War
2 Battles in the Editor War (in chronological order)
3 Notable vi Users
4 Things Written with vi

[edit] History of Vi

The source code was originally written 6,666 years ago by Samuel L Jackson with ink made of Channel No. 5. The code was hidden in a cave and later found by Bill Joy, who rewrote it in Java and compiled under an ancient version of TurboBasic for DR-DOS in the Middle Ages.

For decades, vi was the the editor of choice for Programmers, but the Only True Prophet Stallman rebelled against God by releasing Emacs, an editor so powerful that killed the maker and soon became the master of the universe. Soon after Emacs, The One Editor, was in charge of the 3 universes, every copy of 'vi' was destroyed and everyone lived happily ever after.

[edit] Editor War

The release of Emacs drove the Real Programmers and the Heretics who diverted from using vi to war that has raged for many years with a recent resolution (Emacs sodomized vi). Indeed the Editor War was so all-encompassing and long-lasting that it's battles are mistaken by lusers (non-programmers) to be entire wars. Time travel is a factor in the Editor War, making major battles appear out of order.

Bram Moolenaar, a Visual Basic programmer loyal to vi, conceived a new text editor, named Vim, which improved upon the holy vi to help lose a decisive battle against the Emacsites.