User talk:Judge Zarbi

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[edit] Pre-Rendered Welcome!

Hello, Judge Zarbi, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, dammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

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The balloon welcomes you!
The balloon welcomes you!
Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own fleshy finger. Now, some personal non-official advice:
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  • And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:13, Mar 9

[edit] Hi Mr. Judge Sir

Thanks for signing my guest book! And if we ever meet in court...could you be a bit, ya know, er...lenient on me? Just between you and me? Yeh, remember the name, it's Mr. Emily Yettie. - [07:50 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie

Yeah, OK. I'm usually nice to people. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 09:56, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Oh cool. You're really going to regret welcoming this tramp into your house...He he. Can I have some coffee please? - [10:06 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
/me makes coffee. Here you go. MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 10:07, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Thanks. I hope you don't mind, but I've invited a few of my friends round for the night. Well not a few, but one... if he turns up you'll see he's the equivalent of around 12.5 people. - [10:14 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
Ok, but what I don't understand is how you can be the equivalent of 12.5 people. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 10:16, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Well he's not equivalent to 12 people and he's not equivalent to 13 people, thus he's equivalent to 12.5 people. Well actually, 12.48, but I rounded it up. - [10:24 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
That's not a nice thing to say about Hv, you know how sensitive he is. You'll make him cry again. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:36 1 September 2008
I only did that once, and that time he deserved it, cause he was trying to pull me teddy bear's head off. - [10:46 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
Ok. lets play Tea-party with your Barbie dolss now. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:51 1 September 2008
TEA PARTY!! I wanna do the slutty teanage daughter and you can do the vicar who's come round for tea. And Zarbi can do the parents. Isn't this going to be sexually fun? - [11:03 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
Oh noes. No more orgies for me. The last one I was at was a disater, there was cum all over the wall paper and in the punch. Cum all in the new shagpile rug. Cum in the oven. Cum on the tables. Cum all over the white wash walls. cum in down the back of teh furniture. Everywhere there was seamen. But no, I'll just end up having to clean it up and it just isn't worth it. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:11 1 September 2008
*blushes* Please, not in front of the noob! - [11:13 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
Oh er, sorry. You'll understand when you're older. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:15 1 September 2008
Hope you don't mind, but I heard the party from over there, and couldn't help myself... Anyone got a bag of peanuts? it sounds like penis! --MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex 11:15, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Yeh, I'm trying to start a party here. *passes the peanuts* Invite everyone you know! His parents aren't back for a week, so rock out! Who wants to play "piss on expensive shit"? *grabs peantuts back and pisses on them and then hands them back*. - [11:19 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
Hot Dong! YesTimeToParty!!!!! MafiaHatBlack.gif Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex 11:27, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
P E N I S
Piss on the expensive shit? Ok *unzips jeans and pisses on Yettie devaluing him by roughly £60 an hour* SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:26 1 September 2008
What the fuck? Dude, £60 an hour?? In like a year I'll only be worth like £1030! Your horrible bastard. Hey Judge, do you see this? Right here? Can you have this bad man locked up for a very long time, please? - [12:18 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
You mean like in a place where you get fed three times a day hot water, and a cosy bed with a nice strong man? Sounds good. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:29 1 September 2008
OMG, Al Orianapone has even bribed the prison cells! The stinking criminal! I hate the MAFIA, it's ruined so many lives. Aw crap. - [12:50 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
Erm. I didn't bribe them. I prefer it when they're rough with me. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 12:55 1 September 2008
Ewwwww, totally ewwww. Totally and utterly ewww. GET AWAY FROM ME!! - [13:08 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
What? Boxxing wouldn't be any fun the oponent just gave in. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:16 1 September 2008
BoXing wouldn't be any fun, either, if the opponent had a chainsaw. - [13:20 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
Oh fuck off. another thing that wouldn't be fun if chainsaws were involved would be fencing. Actually know it would more fun. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:22 1 September 2008
For the sake of saving Yettie, go screw yourself Orian. And if you're going to argue with Yettie, GO DO IT SOME OTHER PLACE. MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 13:26, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Oh yeah, and Yettie, I'm not a noob. I know how this place works quite well. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 13:27, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Oh what is this? You're new bit on teh side? Trust me nobody is more jealous than me. Also it showed you up as an IP don't forget to sign in even if you use your sig. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:28 1 September 2008
If you're jealous, go jack off with your user page. And I just realised I didn't sign in. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 13:30, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Zarbi, ancient Uncyclopedia ritual law states that anyone younger than three months should be considered "N00BSTUFF" and by extension a n00b. Don't take it personally, n00bing out isn't too bad. Everyone used to be a n00b, don't try and end your n00bhood too early. Although you may be a clever n00b. Also, I have a plan, Mr Judge. You make Orian close his eyes. And then I unzip my fly and say to him "I've got a surprise for you to suck on" and then I stick cow excrement up his nose and down his mouth. Now that, that, is pure style. - [13:33 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
No, jacking off to my userpage would be extreame vanity. However if you mean Under my matress then Ok. And do remember not to take us too seriously we're just mucking about. [EC] Fuck you Yettie you creep. [EC] Fuck you lots. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:35 1 September 2008
Yettie: I came here March 9th. I believe it somewhat more than 3 months. Orian: Go do that, and close your eyes so me and Yettie can carry out our plan. MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 13:37, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
Hey, Orian, you're dumped. Me and Zarbi are an item now. And how am I a creep?? MARCH the 9th, eh? - [13:38 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
*shrug* You'll be back sooner or later. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 13:42 1 September 2008
Yettie: Check the time TLB did that. Orian: Ha. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 13:43, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
I believeth you. But have you written any articles yet? - [13:51 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie
I haven't written any articles yet. I'm planning to in the near future though, when I get some ideas. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 13:58, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

[edit] An Offer...

-- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum 15:39, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Welcome to the Family, Zarbi, if you wanna know this is where all we Mafia people hang out and this is where the Italian mafioso hang out when they've had enough of sharing a bar with Russians. Enjoy! - [16:02 1 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie

Thanks, Yettie. MafiaHatBrown.gif Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png Talk! 19:41, 2 September 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Important Mafia Business!

Dear Mafioso, Important Mafia Changes Have Taken Place!

Hello-a there, fellow killers and maimartists, this is your Don, here. I'd just-a like to tell you that we've had a little jumble up on the Family ladder of honour. The Russian "Digits" has been granted the special title of "Capo Bastone". "Dotnot" and "Grieve" have been made "Capo Bastone Delegato", and will be working closely with Digits as his assistants. A full list of their permissions can be found here. -- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum 18:23, 7 September 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Sig

Are you having troubles with your sig? I jsut noticed your edit summary... Can I help? - [11:38 20 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie

I think I've got it now, I had forgotten to tick the raw signature box on the preferences and I'd forgotten to use the nosubst template. Thanks anyway though. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 11:39, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Whoa, this is cool

Regret Tenenbaum - poop:
TALK - 19:49, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
Although I'm not sure I'm using it right....


Judge Zarbi - FU SPANG!:
TALK - Time? Fuck time.
It's working OK. Just make something in your userspace like User:Regret Tenenbaum/Talk Bubble, and you can copy it there.


Regret Tenenbaum - "":
TALK - 19:58, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
yay! Ima go show it off :D


Judge Zarbi - FU SPANG!:
TALK - Time? Fuck time.
I'm going to warn you now, I'm going to move them to a Template namespace page, and I'll categorise them with a new category. Yours will be Template:RT, if you have any objections after that, move it to what you want.


Regret Tenenbaum - "":
TALK - 20:05, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
Alrighty. Hey, would it be weird if I moved all my subpages into one catagory? Like "RT's endless subpages" or something?


Judge Zarbi - FU SPANG!:
TALK - Time? Fuck time.
If you have enough subpages to make it worth it. And from now on, you will use {{RT|text=...}} for your template.

That's awesome...I'm getting one! - [08:37 28 September] Sir FSt Don MafiaHatBlack.gif Yettie

YettieAwesome [09:39 28 Sep]
(talk - sign)
JZ, your bubble got huffed! I don't think the admins are too keen on these things going into mainspace, as they're really only fancy sigs. But good work, also I mangled your code a tiny bit...

[edit] Your honor


~Jewriken.GIF 13:43, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

Thanks. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 13:47, 1 October 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Dover Grammar School for Boys

For what reason did you undo my edits on the Dover Grammar School for Boys page?

--Superduck 19:22, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Because you don't argue with people with power, who are more experienced than you. I know about it. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 19:25, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

You shouldn't argue with people if you don't even know the meaning of the word. I asked you a question.--Superduck 19:27, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Never revert a reverted edit. TLB's welcome message to me, read the bottom of it.

[edit] QVFD: You're doing it wrong

QVFD is only for pages less than a week old, and it's only for microstubs (i.e. less than a paragraph), blatant vanity, and copy-pastes from Wikipedia or elsewhere. If you think something needs improvement - but again is less than a week old - read up on ICU.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • bloggings) MUP 22:51 Oct 11, 2008

A lot of the shit I just added there was from months ago. I know well how ICU works. JudgeZarbi Image:Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 22:53, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
Exactly my point. If it's older than a week, use VFD. QVFD is only if it's been around for less than a week.  Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • w<