User:Benson

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Nominated Benson of the Month This user has been nominated for BENSON of the Month—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite BENSONS at Uncyclopedia:Benson of the Month.

“Holy crap he's cool! I hope I can grow up to be just like him.”

~ Oscar Wilde on BENSON

"NEVER! THERE IS ONLY ONE BENSON!"

~ BENSON on Oscar Wilde's above quote

BENSON has decided that BENSON's pure greatness can, in fact, be contained on a puny “userpage” (just barely). Furthermore anyone who edits this page besides BENSON himself shall be cursed with the curse of BENSON... a fine curse indeed.

Contents 1 Description 2 Bio 3 People Who Messed With BENSON... And Lived To Regret It 4 Bio Chapter 2 5 More People Who Messed With BENSON... And Lived To Regret It 6 People Who have Messed With BENSON... And BENSON is plotting his revenge 7 People Who Have Messed With BENSON... and BENSON can't do anything about it 8 People Who Think They Have Messed With BENSON, So They Add Their Own Names To This Page (I know, isn't that pathetic?) 9 Communist Ranting 10 Things that have been dedicated to BENSON 10.1 Pictures 10.2 Templates 10.3 Awards 11 League of Benson 12 People who got permabanned for sticking with the League 13 People alligned with BENSON but are too smart to join the League 14 People in the Minor League of Benson :) 15 TRAITORS TO THE LEAGUE OF BENSON 16 Speculation 17 Imposter Benson 18 News Article with BENSON! 19 Conclusion

[edit] Description

Name: BENSON (ALWAYS IN CAPS)

Age: Ageless

Height: 100' tall

Weight: 1 pound (BENSON works out)

Political Views: COMMUNISM!!!

Relations: Just his 28 wives and girlfriends... and Pa and Ma BENSON... and Nana BENSON

Pet: Pond Whale: Coco (may he rest in pieces)

Facial Hair: Two beards in one! What a discount!

Skin: Invisible Metal

Planet: From the vile land of Wikipedia

Views on Fawwaz: All negative

Claims on Creation: YOU ALL CAME FROM BENSON'S COUCH!

[edit] Bio

One day a woman was giving birth to a baby. A baby destined for greatness. That is when BENSON came to Earth in a meteorite which crashed into the hospital where the baby was being born. BENSON aimed for the hospital... HAHAHA! Let that teach you a lesson: nobody is born on the same day BENSON is.

[edit] People Who Messed With BENSON... And Lived To Regret It

• Fake Benson

• Another Fake Benson

• Yet another fake Benson

• Col. Swordman

• D.G. Neree

• LOLZORZ

[edit] Bio Chapter 2

BENSON was raised by himself. Baby BENSON didn't need help. Baby BENSON was 8' tall at age 2, and was already superior to you! Interesting side note: BENSON is part God. Also, BENSON is the Hulk. When BENSON was born, there were many bad omens. The Pope died. Also, the show Alf premiered. Speaking of Alf,

[edit] More People Who Messed With BENSON... And Lived To Regret It

• Alf

That is all.

[edit] People Who have Messed With BENSON... And BENSON is plotting his revenge

• Major Sir Zombiebaron

• Rataube

• Money Sign

• Fawwaz

[edit] People Who Have Messed With BENSON... and BENSON can't do anything about it

• AE

• Splaka

• Famine

• Codeine

• Demonica BENSON

• Wiki BENSON

[edit] People Who Think They Have Messed With BENSON, So They Add Their Own Names To This Page (I know, isn't that pathetic?)

• Trar

• Dawg (he did it twice!)

• Capercorn

• CrazyJay he figured if he were to put his name anywhere else, it'd just end up here, so he saved BENSON the trouble and put himself right here. (wasn't that nice of him?)

• Hippie13 He has a friend named Benson, so he messes with him all the time...

[edit] Communist Ranting

Hail Communism! Glory to the New Canadian Order that is the CPC! BENSON wants world Communism and good will towards men. Kinda like Santa. But with no presents! BENSON HATES presents...

This user is Canadian ...and stands for truth, universal health care, and HOCKEY games!

[edit] Things that have been dedicated to BENSON

[edit] Pictures

BENSON'S THIRD GRADE PHOTO:

Image:BensonVictory.jpg

BENSON takes what he can gets:

BENSON's 2D House of Pancakes (with BENSON in the window)

an artist's interpretation of a fight between BENSON and Fawwaz

[edit] Templates

|B|E|N|S|O|N|
    my anti-drug

This article has been blessed by the great BENSON. BENSON himself has edited the article, and thus feels that it is worthy of a place in Uncyclopedia.

[edit] Awards

BENSON of the Month

[edit] League of Benson

This user is a member of the League of Benson, and therefore admits that Benson is better than this user.

This is a League of puny weakling monkeys who understand that Benson is better than them, and wish to help him (although BENSON doesn't need help, per se). Here are the members:

• RPBnimrod
• Surreal Hamster
• Tompkins
• Hrodulf
• OsirisX
• Rcmurphy
• Spang
• ENeGMA
• MoogleEXE
• Bradaphraser
• Immy
• Vosnul
• Witt E,
• Hobelhouse
• Oddbod
• ThatGuy
• Czar Yah
• Sliferjam
• Electrified mocha chinchilla
• Crazyswordsman
• Insineratehymn
• Anyone
• Todd Lyons
• Mowgli
• Swordmaster
• Jedravent
• Einstein 145
• Absurdism
• Symuun
• TheOminousMan
• Zerotrousers
• Gustav, who is now SysRq
• High General Grue
• Wehpudicabok
• AAA!
• Alexjohnc3
• The Humbled Master
• Mb240d
• Uncyclopedian
• Savethemooses

[edit] People who got permabanned for sticking with the League

• Nintendo Rulez

[edit] People alligned with BENSON but are too smart to join the League

• Lord Fluffy
• Gert5
• Thekillerfroggy
• Capercorn
• TheLedBalloon
• MrMetalFLower
• Elassint
• BurekSP

[edit] People in the Minor League of Benson :)

The Minor League is mainly for children of League members. Once they're old enough, Minor Leaguers are promoted to the big boy League!

• Ikke - Current Leader

[edit] TRAITORS TO THE LEAGUE OF BENSON

• Rataube

• Codeine

• Sikon

[edit] Speculation

People think BENSON is Black just because he's so awesome, but this is untrue. BENSON's real skin colour is invisible.

[edit] Imposter Benson

After much hard work by BENSON, BENSON caught the imposter Benson. Pants MacKenzie fessed up to it. That goes to show: THERE IS ONLY ONE BENSON (not including George Benson).

[edit] News Article with BENSON!

The Internets -- The arrival of BENSON is one that has been welcomed by many members of Uncyclopedia. This mysterious entity only known as BENSON arrived at the Village Dump to let Uncyclopedians know of his arrival and wishes to be nominated for Noob of the Month.

First on the scene was Savethemooses who noted "Hey guys, BENSON is here." Nintendorulez was immensly amazed at Savethemooses amazing intuition. Most other members have reacted positivly to BENSON'S arrival.

BENSON later posted his thanks on the warm reception that he recieved from Uncylopedians. He said "BENSON THANKS YOU! BENSON IS GLAD PUNY RULERS OF THIS LAND APROVE OF HIS RAMPENT RANTING! HE LIKES THIS LAND BETTER THEN PUNY OTHER WEBSITE WIKIPEDIA! THEY DID NOT APROVE OF BENSON'S GLORY." Uncyclopedians were truely greatful that Uncyclopedia's nemesis, Wikipedia, did not approve of BENSON'S glory. As now BENSON has joined their community.

BENSON has revealed not much about himself to us. All that has been revealed is that he "dispises Santa and his presents, but has a soft spot for the Easter Bunny" and that he will one day take over the Earth and kill many innocent people (hopefully all at once). These facts have not angered many Uncyclopedians.

Sources:

• http://uncyclopedia.org/index.php?title=Forum:BENSON_IS_HERE&t=20060606062003

THIS ARTICLE WAS DELETED BUT IT LIVES ONWARDS IN HERE!

[edit] Conclusion

In conclusion, BENSON will one day take over the Earth and kill many innocent people (hopefully all at once).

LORD FLUFFY WHO RAINS FIRE FROM THE HEAVENS HATH GIVEN THIS USER THE GOLDEN FILM AWARD; THIS USER KNOWS ENTIRELY TOO MANY MOVIE QUOTES, AND IS IN NEED OF A LIFE.