UnNews:Gina the No-Headed Gymnast Olympic Ready

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7 August 2008

Biltmore has a natural advantage of reduced drag from wind, due to complete lack of a head. We're all rooting for her. Really.

WESTWOOD, California -- The UCLA Bruins will be sending one of their best and brightest gymnastic stars to China in an attempt to medal at the 2008 Olympic Games. Gina Biltmore, 22, will compete in the floor exercises, rhythmic gymnastics, and pommel horse. Her hopes are high. Speaking through her translator, Gina had this to say:

"I am very anxious and excited to compete for my country in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. It is a dream come true for me, and I won't let my country down." She wiped away tears with her foot and continued, "It's not been easy. Many said I wouldn't do it, many said it wasn't possible. I always knew I could make it to the Olympics, I always did. Only my father and mother believed in me, and were it not for them I would not be half the person I am today."

Biltmore in Montral, Winter 1996

Gina was born with a disease known as "Deflammation Non-cephalopathy", a rare genetic disorder which causes the head to shrink as one gets older. At age 8 she could see her entire head in the side mirror of a car, by age 13 she could inspect a the inside bottom of a oil drain pan thru the plug hole, and by age 17 she'd given up on dating boys due to incessant crude jokes about "a little head". Instead she focused on gymnastics and in the ensuing years, excelled.

Gina went to the Pan Am games in 1994 and placed 2nd, just 10 points behind her competitor, 'Yuri Vladmo', a Russian Rhythmic gymnast. Unique to Rhythmic gymastics is that men and women compete in the same category. Olympic officials combined the two genders in the competition as "gender plays no role in skills or talent in this sport". "On cannot have a leg up simply due to an increase in muscle mass because one is borne male." Although she didn't win like she had wanted to, she and Yuri instantly bonded and the two have been inseperable ever since. "It vas as if ve vere meant for von-another." Yuri is quoted as saying. Gina, "He's so warm and understanding. He cares about me and what happens to me. It is as if we were two stars in the sky mysteriously drawn to one another-I can't explain it, it's like magnetism."

Gina and her new boyfriend Yuri visited Echo Canyon while at the Pan Am Games.

Gina, who is of Korean decent, attended school on a scholarship. "UCLA" (the 'University of Caucasians Lost Among Asians') "finally gave me the opportunity to excell scholastically as well as athletically." As part of "Asian Athletes Among Us" Gina received a housing allowance, a tutor to help her with her studies, and a meal card. "After competing I intend to return to my studies and focus on my next goal: to become an Opthamologist and provide eye care to the Poor in my hometown on Rancho Palos Verdes Estates." We all wish her well in her quest for an Olympic medal.