Surbiton Airport

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The Pinnacle of Modern Development, Surbiton Airport caters for all your air-based needs.

Ooooh Yes.

Easily confused for Surbiton railway station, but most certainly not the same thing! Long live SURBY AIRPORT!

Surbiton's claim to fame arrived in 1930 with the construction of this high-density international airport. It was regularly featured on television as well as at Microsoft seminars detailing the dangers of using Horses and Carts in this modern age.

It is infamous for its constantly busy parking facilities which encompass multiple illegal Rover cars, which are now out of production, due to the introduction of the Poll tax in 1824-point-Five.

[edit] Introduction

Surbiton Airport is a large international Airport in Southwest London. It is home to Easyjet, and flights are scheduled to depart approximately five billion times a second. Whether they do or not, is another question...

[edit] Locality

The Airport is located deep in the heart of Surrey and is painfully close to Slough. Some residents have mentioned that the annual Slough-Burning festival, which was discontinued in 1201, will be reinstated during the 91st Anniversary of the Airport, due at approximately 7:02pm on Monday, the 32nd of Argos, 1981.
A local rumour states that an Argos Superstore is located nearby. This has never been proven. It is commonly known that Chessington World of Adventures is within the vicinity, but is never spoken of. This subject is considered offensive to the residents of Surbiton, some of whom are veterans of World War Two, and are still in denial.

[edit] Oops!

Surbiton Airport was blown up in approximately 1701 by a Horse and Cart and subsequently nothing was built on the site until 1930, where the current Airport stands. The building is considered the pinnacle of 1930s design. This date does include the RADAR system in use to this day.

[edit] Terminal 9

Did you know...

... Surbiton is no longer twinned with Belgrade. Despite the obvious affinity between the two communities, the Serbian government recently voted to dismantle the relationship, due to Surbiton Council's unpopular views on ethnic cleansing and bouzooki-playing. Serbo-Croat is however still spoken on many of the area's tennis courts.

Construction has recently begun for the much-anticipated Terminal 9 at Surbiton. Poritt himself has gave his full backing of the project, as he rode in on his Horse & Cart, which will take full advantage of the old multi-storey Car Park above Sainsbury's, by creating a miniature black hole bang in the middle of the store, down the Pickles & Sauces Aisle.

The choice of location is well thought out, as terminals One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven and Eight are already quite nearby. Victoria Road Baggage Check-In will be supplemented with a renovated and rat-free Lost Luggage department and Arrivals lounge situated at the rear of the complex in Glenbuck Road.

The Manager On-Duty for Terminal Nine has been chosen to be Elizabeth Taylor, who was famous for a brief stint in the 1970s when she violently attacked Beatrix Potter and Enid Blyton during a novel-writing contest at Chessington Community College.