Skynet

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“We hold the reins of nature and ride that bitch around.”

~ Oscar Wilde on the skynet

Built in 2008, the skynet was the incumbent American President Bush’s last great stab to get people to like him. Hearing that the ozone layer was leaving us due to global warming, Mr. Bush devised the skynet (also know as aol).

[edit] Pollution comes from dirt in the air

Skynet is a very simple project: if we make a net to catch the sky, it won't leave the Earth and we would have air forever! The president employed fishermen and scientists around the world to devise a huge sky-catching net to hold on to the precious ozone. Upon further research (See ask any body with common sense). Bush found that Ozone was too small to catch with a normal net. So he set forth in his own presidential labs working feverishly day and night until he came to it.

[edit] Fight Fire with Fire

Nets would not catch the ozone because it would slip through the holes. A better way to confine it must have been out there. Bush found it - it was aerosol. Bush ordered millions of net toss teams around the world to take their nets out into open fields and spray them with aerosol cans such as hair spray. After over 3 months of continued spraying, the world was ready to save its ozone and Bush was ready to make his mark on the history books.

[edit] Tis a better thing to love and lost

On the launch day, a very strange thing happened. Temperatures around the world started to go out of whack. Seems like the aerosol cans used to treat the nets killed what remaining ozone we had. Bush never admitted that the launch was a failure. Without proper ozone to shield us, the suns rays burnt across lands and killed millions, while people watched the net float off in to space on TV screens.

[edit] Everything is bigger in Texas

The scene was chaos. Sheer anger unleashed on a single building. The white house stood for 25 hours before the first wall fell. With in another 12 it had been completely gutted and Bush was nowhere to be found. Eyewitness account say he jumped in to a plane headed for a cave in Afghanistan to never be seen again.

[edit] Litigation

In August, 1981, the Starland Vocal Band sued the Bush administration, claiming the Skynet severely affected the success of the band's in-flight skyrockets and subsequently put a damper on any delight occurring between mid-day and early evening. The results of this trial are still pending.