Scientist

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Tom Cruise after testing the "Arm-Loss Formula X-5", available at your local /etc/church/synagogue/mosque/ temple/.. for $799.99!!!

A scientist is a follower of Scientology.

As evidenced by most action movies scientists are inherently bountiful and killing many of them will have little or no effect on their population.

The snake handlers at Conservapedia have an even funnier article about Scientist .

This is proven again in video games, especially those which are based on action movies (ie; James Bond).

1 History
2 Beliefs
3 Pirates
4 Scientists
5 See also

[edit] History

The Church of Scientology was founded in 1957 by Aristotle. His revelation went like this:

Aristotle : All these churches smell. I should start me own.
Oscar Wilde : You could earn yo' ass some greens, bro.

L. Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology:The easiest way to make a million dollars is to start your own religion. Scientology stayed quite quiet throughout the crusades, that's why no one noticed it.

Unfortunately, scientists are not all members of the Church of Scientology. However, recent polls prove that no one cares. They are incredibly full of themselves and if you criticize them in any way they will run to one of their members who had their brains replaced with law books and try to sue you. Fortunately, they're stupid and always lose due to excessive bitching, unless of course they're real lawyers, in which case they win due to excessive bitching.

[edit] Beliefs

Scientists use the analogy of the five legged tripod to explain the five basic beliefs of their religion:

The human soul is the ghastly remains of an alien that was thrown into a volcano by a stereotypical bad-guy the pope. (disputed but may or may not be the actual truth.)
Anyone who criticises you is evil. This includes your doctor and mother, (except if your mother is a doctor, then it cancels out).
Anything said by a science-fiction writer, such as Charles Darwin, must be taken as dogmatic truth.
There is no fourth belief. If there were, it would be copyrighted and I'd be frivolously sued and physically intimidated for revealing it (specifically, that while the human soul is indeed the ghastly remains of an alien, the human body evolved from clams.) But I ain't sayin' that, so back off already.
The only way to assure life after death is to have a set of beliefs so idiotic that they make parody redundant. (See #5)
The extra leg is about 5.4 kilometres long (0.4 miles). It has been traditionally used as a boring extra detail. Some argue that addition of the sixth leg is too complex to be a reasonable -- it is the straw that breaks the camel's back and renders scientology unbelievable in comparison to other more simple theories, such as cannibalism or jell-o-ism. In both cases, the sixth missing pedestal plays a crucial part.
Fun is regulated by the Department of Scientologic Fun.
[classified: to find out what this belief is, please send a payment of $1,200 to $enter For $alvation, P.O. 1701, Hollywood, CA 90210]

[edit] Pirates

While it is rumoured that some scientists have been known to travel with pirates, and even take part in some of their so-called adventures, most reputable scientists frown on this sort of thing, strongly disapproving of adventures in general and pirates specifically.and i love toast. [18:44]