Sausage

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Sausage (IPA pronunciation: [susej]) is a typically thin piece of meat substance, composed of beef, Oscar Wilde's baby-making juices, chicken, cat, mouse, dog, moose, cow, goat, lampshade, iron, trees, parks, static orbs, magic cards, hyper-cubes, my little ponies, Dwarfs, old yeller, wood planks, fnord, Yaks, Carneys, Asian People, Non-Asian People, Hobos, Hobo Spiders, Yo' Momma, the Eiffel Tower, plutonium, opossums, Brain Peppers, french teachers, blood, Steve Irwin, ear wax and nails, and, most important of all, sausage.

Contents 1 Sausage Production 2 User Manual of Your Sausage 3 The Sausage in health and disease 4 The story of the Sausage in the emergency room 5 Trivia 6 See also

[edit] Sausage Production

Sausages are mostly grown in Southern Africa and form one of the primary exports of Botswana. Trees producing sausages are highly valued but occasionally felled to make canoes. As sausages grow on trees they are obviously all suitable for vegetarians. And your mom. Sausages are also known to be used as 'dildos' but can cause the woman to give birth to a roast-dinner, which is very common. The production of the sausage is a swift production, the female tree that gives birth to the sausage is fat, hairy and is most commonly confused with a yetti (See mother). The mother is known by the space ship, which is known by VERN. A.K.A Aaron Vernon. He invented the sausage tree. He first peed on the sausage tree, and created the juice of GRAVY (GREY-VEE). All this happened, in the amazing year of 1990.

penis, penis, penis.

[edit] User Manual of Your Sausage

A Sausage is the favorite food of LUKE SMITH! *and can only be supplied by almost all kinds of male animals. Sausages can be eaten several different times. However, it is important to never eat the entire sausage, only enough that it vomits milk. There are three types of sausage; frankfurt, skinless and halal. Halal sausages can only be eaten in a special type of way,which involves veils and masks and plenty of clothing. A true legend of sauages consumption is to be found in Denmark under the name of Frickadulle, who consumes no less than 67% of all sausage production in his country.

Sometimes sausages are used to flush down the toilet for no reason and this guy got a sausage lodged in this head because he drank water when he ate it. I don't make sence so your screwed!

sausages are the main staple food of david londsdale, he eats them, or should i say he devours them. his personal favourite is the brockwurst sausage, in which he likes to enjoy 93,000,000 per anum. in his spare time he watches deal or no deal.

Once the sausage is quite small, if left alone for aprox. 20 minutes the sausage will magically regrow and again be ready for consumption. If not, cook it in an ovenwhile looking at a 1950's porno flick. Also related to sausage's ability to magically regrow is its method of reproduction, called "spontaneous spawning", or god shagging, in which new sausages begin to grow out of it and eventually fall off and inherit severe problems with drugs and alcohol.

It is frequently served at circuses, sideshows, back-alleys behind strip joints, and school cafeterias. Sometimes large groups of men will congregate for the purpose of holding celebrations called sausage fests. Aliens are rarely welcome at these gatherings.

The sausage has been used by expansionist powers to endow their women citizens (shut up about women!) with the generative capacity to create a bespoke master race (often called the Ubermunch). The disastrous consequences of such plots were only narrowly averted by the forces of good, who skillfully infiltrated plants manufacturing the catalyst used in sausage production, mustard. In 1942, the renegade scientist Caesar Salat discoverd that, when contaminated by the agent Mayon-A, mustard loses its more volatile principal chemical properties.

Sausages are nice in sandwiches, with lots of ketchup.

Sausages are often hidden.

If one were unfortunate enough to be named Thomas and were even more unfortunate enough to stumble upon Zoob, one would be well advised to not steal Zoob's sausage.

[edit] The Sausage in health and disease

Sausages were once thought to be healthy, some scientists even considered them to be part of a stable diet, and one of your five-a-day fruit and vegetables, although a sausage is technically a nut, so it lodges into your butt. Its similar to the penut, and the monkey nut, although, it's not related in the family, in any way. Unless your name is Lyndzy Ryan.

In early 2008, it was shown that eating more than one sausage a day, every day, for 363 out of 389.6 days every year will give you AIDS, Lyndzy should know. This following passage, is a quote, taken from Lyndzy on the day she realised she had AIDs; "Oh my God. That sausage was huge. It was only in there for a few minutes, but I can't believe I got AIDs, holy crap. I'm going to die. My vagina is bleeding. My anus is on fire. Call the fireman. Help me. OH GOD. Oh God. AIDs." As you see. She died.

[edit] The story of the Sausage in the emergency room

It was a terrible day. The day my son died from a nut over-dose. He wasn't allergic. He just really shouldn't have eaten Mikey's sausage. Mikey beat him. He beat him hard. He beat him until he bled, and oh God, he bled everywhere. penis, penis, penis.

[edit] Trivia

• The IPA pronunciation of sausage, [susej], is exactly the reverse of Jesus.
• Sausages are nice, taste good and shit. sean likes to put sausages with peanut butter um his bum while givein miss timms a rim job.:)
• sausages have been known to cause cranium stranium
• sausages have been known to produce phsycic abilities in every person that eats them.
• sausages are actually SQUARE oh the horror

[edit] See also

• Sarsage