HowTo:Rick Roll Somebody
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“You got Rick Rolled!!!!!”
~ Some N00b on Memes
| The Internet Meme Recognition and Approval Committee has recognized and approved Rickrolling to be an Internet Meme. It has passed all the guidelines as listed here. |
“I'm never gonna give it up, I'm never gonna let it down...”
~ Arnee, a serial Rick-Roller on your rick roll
“That bastard Kaiba Rick Rolled me! I haven't been this mad since they made HeavyDDR a submod!”
~ Joey Wheeler on being Rick Rolled by Seto Kaiba
“I am so mad! Whoever is the person responsible for this I will hunt down and kill them”
~ Guy who loves your Rick Roll and wants you to post more
“Pop music throughout history has been used to annoy others. Children use it to annoy their parents, adults use it to annoy neighbors, bars use it to annoy people trying to have a conversation and ferrari drivers use it to annoy everyone. Now the rickroll allows you to extend this power over the internet itself.”
~ Tim Berners-Lee, grandfather of the rickroll on Pop Music
| HowTo This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series. See more HowTos |
So you feel like your friends are the hottest] people in town. Talking about Starcraft II]" this and Fallout 3]" that. While all you have to talk about is what you did at school]. (which is get bullied of course), the only game] that you played which was some Barbie] game that your parents] got you, and what they were serving at dinner]. Let's face it, your life is dull], boring] and meaningless]. You know what you need to do? You need to become more popular] then you ever were, you need to be hip], cool], edgy. Unfortunately, you don't have the money] or time] to become what you want to be. And besides the way you look], you wouldn't be able to be cool anyways. So what do you do know, well show them your coolness by tricking your friends into a site via the usage of "hype" You need to show your friends a video of a gay] guy dancing to music. What you need to do is rick roll somebody.
Contents |
[edit] A little about Rick Astley
Rick Astley was born Ricky Asterik, but was sued at birth by the company who owns all legal use of the *. So he was renamed. He grew up in the Pitsburge, Pennslvenia area and dreamed of one day spamming adolescents on the Interweb. He was good friends with Al Gore at a young age and asked if he could learn his skills about the Interweb, as Gore was inventing it at the time. Rick didn't learn much except that if he wanted to be famous that he had to release a music video that will hopefully inspire somebody some day. Rick's song, "Never Gonna Give You Up", was originally based on Rick's drug abuse hence why he wouldn't give up heroin or caffiene. There you have it.
[edit] So what is rick rolling?
Rick Rolling is a fucking national phenomenon that was invented unknowingly in the 80's by Rick Astley himself as a descendant to rolling a duck down the hill, hence the fucking name. You see, Rick Astley's fucking Music Video contained what we called dancing] for the time and what the producers saw was talent] combined with that voice] that resembled a deaf] guy. Basically Rick's dancing was the epicenter] of the entire video, cutting out every other man and woman who danced, including that black guy. Yeah I know! It's a shame. If you look at Rick and Rick only, and ignore everyone else in the entire video, you'll see that Rick seriously has the moves, all those other guys are just riding off of Rick's shadow].
Seriously, the video shows him at 3 different angles. Left, center, and right]. You can clearly see the talent] this guy has]! And Rick Astley's beautiful voice that you hear the video makes it sound really, really gay]. How gay? Well, it's gay because there is emotion] everywhere. Something gay guys have, which makes this video worthy because you're only hearing his soul, not his voice. King Dedede invented the Rick Roll.
In the early days of Rick Rolling, people first tried to get people to listen to his song] through lies] and deception by sending it as packages to friends and giving it out to random people on the streets. But people were smarter] back in the 80's]. Easily seeing through a plot to get people to play the CD or play the music video that was available on VHS. But as years went buy, Al Gore] invented the internets], allowing n00bs] to be tricked by the rolling of the rick. In mathematical terms it's like:
And in essence, making people see the video gives them a certain feeling of regret, disappointment and annoyance. Furthermore, since you are the one actually pulling off the Rick Roll, they will naturally have a hatred against you. But don't let it weigh you down. Many famous people have been Rick Rolled. Including Tom Cruise], Scientologists] and Starcraft] fans.
So now you know everything about Rick Rolling. The only problem is, how are you going to create it? I mean, you know nothing] of what they're talking] about so it would just come out as gibberish] to you. Don't worry, that's what the next section is for, to teach you on how to do a rick roll.
[edit] How to rick roll
Basically what you need to know is this. You trick them into watching a video via a link that claims to be something entirely different. But how the fuck are you going to trick them into showing you your video]. Well we can't do it the old fashioned way, you know why?
That's why! You can see Rick Astley's face, which ruins the entire illusion] of a rick roll. You don't want to show Rick Astley's I RICKROLLED JAMES!!!!!!!! face when rick rolling, it makes it too obvious]. So your best bet is to hide it in the form of an HTML] address, something like http://www.rickroll.com. But seeing as how there's no possible way to do it here, I guess you can't get anywhere. But the more important part is this, how the hell are you going to fool your friends], you never even played a game] or used the internet] beyond what your parents] expect you to use it for. Well no fear because we can help] you! What you should do is this, go to your local game store and buy a lot of games with the $100 bucks you niggered] from your mother's purse. Sure, you will get mocked for being a n00b] and being taunted as a n00b] on the internet]. But once you get past that, you now have the information to rick roll anyone. Just post on some random forum and say something like "[starcraft|NEW STARCRAFT II GAMEPLAY VIDEO]" and work your magic], or none].
[edit] Anything Else?
No. That's it, unless you want to annoy them even more, which, if that is indeed the case, then this part's for you. So you feel like you just posted your rick roll and people are calling you pathetic? Well, they're just jealous of your cunning trick. You know what you need to do an advanced rick roll? How do you do that, you ask? Dunno. But there is a principle of making the windows move and having the lyrics appear 100 times over... which makes you ub3r c00l in a sense. A basic diagram of such an advanced rick roll is shown below you. If you are good enough to play his songs on drums you can get people drumroll'd
But how are you going to pull off something that complex? Simple, by browser hijacking. First off, you have to travel all the way to Iraq and do what they call an exchange. Make sure that you don't get hit by the thousands of tanks and guns that are constantly targeting you. Once you arrive at Al Qaeda], you'll be forced to give something of value to them. Since you don't have anything, you will be forced to give them your soul. You may regret it, but at the end but it'll be worth it cause they will give you the tools and you will be on your way to advanced rick rolling.
Next up is the domain name, now since you don't have any money or the consciousness] to earn any money. You'll have to beg your mother for an extortionate] amount of money. You may get abused in the process, but in the end. You'll gain your money and spend it on a domain name, but since domain names are pretty expensive. You'll have to go with GoDaddy or something for your own domain name, but make sure that the domain name is different, you don't want to let people know] that this is a rick roll isn't it? And lastly, how are you going to pull it together? Well, if you follow this mathematical formula, you'll be fine.
If you take the 4-way and implant it into the domain that you bought and include a message that says "YOU'VE BEEN RICK ROLLED", then you'll be fine and you'll be able to annoy people with the class of a 6 year old barely out of preschool.
[edit] So what now?
What now?, you're obviously going to post your rick roll under a thread called NEW STARCRAFT II GAMEPLAY VIDEO]" under some forum somewhere. And if you already did that, congratulations! You have successfully rick rolled some people, you are now the coolest, hippest], person around and NO ONE can stand up to your awesomeness]. In fact, let's see how many people are talking about you:
“GO AWAY! NOBODY CARES ABOUT RICK ASTLEY”
~ guy that loved your Rick Roll and wants you to post again and again on your rick roll
“liek omg, u r the b3st3st guy evr. ur rik rol wuz so clevr!!!111!!11 looololololloloollol”
~ A n00b on your ASS
“This isn't Starcraft II, and I'm going to kill the guy who made this Rick Roll!”
~ A starcraft fan on your rick roll
“OMG U GUYS THIS IS SO CRAZY TRUE U WONT BELIEVE IT !!! OK GO AND POST THIS MESSAGE INTO 490 MILLION FORUMS AND UR DOG WILL GET LAID TOMORROW. IF U DONT THEN DAKOTA FANNING WILL COME AND KILL EVERYONE WITH A HAMMER AND CHISEL SO GO POST IT NOW STUPID N00BS!!!!!!”
~ chain spammer that works at McDonalds or at least eats 100 happy meals a day“MORE LIKE RICK ASSWIPE!!”
~ guy that loved your ASS and wants you to post again and again on your rick roll
If you think that these quotes are in some way insulting to you, ignore them. Sure, they might be threatening to kill you, but forget that. These guys are merely the witless victims of your own masterfully executed act of brilliance. Now that you have mastered rick rolling, why not try something else, like getting a job at the local McDonald's] so that you can further your career as a chain spammer? Well, wherever your mad machinations will lead you, we wish you luck] in your future] endeavors.
In other news...... YOU GOT RICK ROLL'D :)
[edit] Links
Vote for Rick Astley for the MTV Music Awards 08 in Europe
