Piracy
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“I don't think half as many people would pirate games and movies if they didn't give it such a cool name”
~ Oscar Wilde on Pirates
“The Internet: Because the internet makes me special!”
~ J!NX on Piracy
“In Capitalist America, copyright violates YOU!!'”
~ Russian Unreversal on Piracy
Piracy is the act of illegally copying software.
Piracy is highly illegal, though it does not contradict the Five pillars of pirating. People who are caught committing piracy are often tried in court or sometimes forced to walk the plank without a fair trial. Pirates will entice naïve college students with promises of high bandwidth, which usually works for the first few downloads, but after a week, it takes a year to download one kilobyte. How this happens is unknown, and the RIAA and MPAA certainly have nothing to do with it.
Piracy is a gateway crime. It has been scientifically proven that youngsters who commit piracy are much more likely to commit murder.
Politicians often refer to robery committed at sea as “piracy.” In this way, they imply that robery committed at sea is ethically equivalent to illegal copying.
If you don't believe that robery committed at sea is just like copyright infrigement, you might prefer not to use the word “piracy” to describe it. Neutral terms such as “prohibited partying” or “unauthorized theft” are available for use instead. Some of us might even prefer to use a positive term such as “sharing horror with your neighbor.”
One particular form of piracy exists which concerns a number of different patents that Bill Gates has on various aspects of the human body. He registered these upon birth to protect what was rightfully his (though some people say he got the idea for his head from an apple he saw in the maternity ward). As a consequence, all people born with the regular number of any particular feature must pay Microsoft royalties to compensate them for lost earnings. However, some unscrupulous types try to avoid this by using a technique known as “pirating oneself”, which involves dressing as a pirate in order to give the impression of having fewer than the standard amount of a particular feature, for example by wearing a fake wooden leg, hooked hand replacement or eye patch. Anyone found to be doing this is thrown in the brig and must pay Microsoft a fine of twenty gold dubloons.
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[edit] Most Pirated Software
Following is the list of most-pirated software around the world. If you find a fellow friend or relative using this software, chances are it has been pirated and you should report them to the authorities immediately.
- Red Hat Linux
- The Linux Kernel
- Regular Linux
- Linux Lite
- WGA
- Books
- AVG Free antivirus
- explorer.exe
- Fedora Core 1 - 5
- Microsoft Internet Explorer 5
- vi
- MSIEXEC
- Apple Macintosh iTunes
- Microsoft Calculator (commonly pirated between Windows users)
- Microsoft Solitaire
- Microsoft Minesweeper
- Microsoft Windows Operating System
- XP, 98SE, 2000, ME, XP,2003, Vista etc.
[edit] Pirate Lifestyles
All major pirates are known to reside in one of three places: Russia, Argentina or somewhere with lots of Asian people around (perhaps Asia a supermarket in Buenos Aires). They are able to survive harsh temperature conditions and cramped living styles, often plagued by the danger of being killed by rival pirates, scurvy or the viet-clap. They are also forever trying to evade the police as well as vague laws prohibiting their chosen lifestyle.
Pirates tend to enjoy light jazz, during evening times over a glass of dry white with some good pirate-friends. Either that or turpentine filtered through a loaf of bread.
Sometimes pirates feel the absolute need to dance. Especially to hits like 'Achy Breaky Heart'. They also love classic R&B. Their favorite topic of discussion is pigeons. Pirates are also known to enjoy a few rounds of mini golf and cheeseburgers.
[edit] Pirate Girlfriends
Famous girlfriends of pirates throughout history are as follows: Queen Cleopatra, Rita Hayworth, Sheryl Crow and Professional Man-Whore Justin Timberlake. All girlfriends of pirates are greatly attracted to electronic bad boys and men who live with their parents. According to [Pirate Act] of 1992, a girlfriend of this kind must carry at least one eye patch on her body at any one time, or be fined 30 dubloons.
