Pikachu
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“yay!i heart pokemon!.”
~ random kid that plays children card games on childrens trading card games
“He is a cruel and terrible fascist, but he sure is cute.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Pikachu
He also is the member of the Yakuza.
“In Soviet Russia, Pikachu chooses YOU!!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Pikachu
“You know you've heard too many of Pikachu's albums when you start beating the crap out of ten-year-old teachers”
~ Asuna Kagurazaka on Pikachu as a world-famous musician
“Pika, pikapika chu pikachu pika. PIKACHU!”
~ Ash's Pikachu on The upcoming rise of Pikachus which will ravage the lands, leaving the world an empty shell of its once abundant beauty
“PikAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
~ A Pikachu on Being Tortured by Pigmy Squirtles
Pikachu (Rodentus Ridiculusaratus) is a Republican United States Senator from California and an electrified yellow rodent who communicates by repeatedly stating its own name(In various tones and volumes).Pikachu is actually an evil, merciless, sadistic and hypnotic being sent to Earth from the far-away planet of Pallettown to hypnotise and mind-control our children so that they will kill us all and make Earth empty so the Pallettownians can invade our planet. Pikachu evolved from the offspring of Yoda, My little Pony and probablyPichu, aided by the negation of Pikadeth. The pokémon can usually be found in forests,or even can be found hanging out with the pokemon Pee wee Herman,usually masturbating,and catching a pokemon while he masturbates is widely known as being dangerous,so this is to be avoided. Sometimes a Pikachu can be found along with a Dickachu leader, and several tribal guardians. Be sure to feed them with nachos, they'll like it. It is especially prominent in Peru and Canada. Recently, however, it has become a problem for farmers around the world, as it settles in fields and eats the crop. Scientists who seek to crack the code of the Pikachu's inane gibberish, has translated recorded material from one of these Pikachu infested fields roughly into the phrase "Im in ur field, eating ur cropz". A solution to the Pikachu problem can easily be found, using either rat poison, or a rather large rock. Rifles have also been reported to work decently. Pikachu also has a really bad cold, and even sneezes as he speaks.
The fascist extremist Pikachu well known for its rampage of political destruction in the United States briefly was governor of Massachusetts.
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[edit] Origins
Long thought to be Japanese, it has been found by Scientists and Researchers that Pikachu is actually the result of a freak Canadian/Hungarian experiment by the devil. Born Pike-eh Chew to Polkaroo and Reddy Kilowatt in Ontario in 1985, he brought Canada into the Electric age, and was even called the Pikapika no Messiah for a while. In 1995 he became a popular child star in hit games and the TV series "Pokenimals." Later, He starred in the "Pokenimals Movie," which documented a search for Mew, and co-starred Ash as Chew's Fashion Co-ordinator. Later, in 2003, he became one of the hosts for "Queer Entei for the Straight Groovyle." He now serves as Canada's representative for the United Nations and Ash's sex toy during lonely nights without Misty. There is also evidence that the Pikachu that Ash had was a Nazi Pikachu is also proven to have kicked people in not nice places so beware him.
[edit] Pet
It is quite common for Japanese women to keep a pikachu as a pet. Its pointy ears make good use for acts of simultaneous stimulation and its electric abilities are useful incentive for lazy husbands. Also makes a good dildo for bored housewives who are bored of using water bottles.
[edit] Strengths/Weaknesses
Pikachus' strengths include electrifying water types and overwhelming foes with psychotic yellowy cuteness (you WILL succumb to the cuteness). Their weaknesses are ground type pokemon, Rapeachus, and blonde jokes. Also scared shitless of terrier bulls and sith. Pikachus are also afraid of teleporting fat guys.
Pikachu's main strength is its gay ass annoying way of talking. It can regenerate its health by raping its PIMP ash ketchum from crackwhore town. Pikachu's ultimate weakness is horny babyback rib rapping hoboes.
[edit] Public Works
The Pikachu has an oddly zig-zag shaped tail, which has proven to be an inspiration to many people. A couple of millennia B.C.E. the Pikachu was commonly seen as a God, along with the sun, the moon, the stars, and a stick that looked a bit like a candy cane. This eventually led to the international best seller "The Bible" being written, as a collaboration between God and Stephen King. DICK Pikachu was said to be the most famous pet among those pets around the world and other pets might die looking at Pikachu and you all will love Pikachu to death
Pikach also served as Viceroy of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. His administration was filled with scandal as he ended up killing all of the legislator with thunderbolt. Pikachu is also a strong supporter of gay marriage and has been married to all of the Massachusetts House Reps (Barney Frank twice), both senators, and Deval Patrick. Pikachu was forced out of office when it was found out he was an illegal immigrant. (explaining his weak stance of the issue) Pikachu was dragged out of office and sent to jail where he chose to remarry Barney Frank for a third time. Pikachu was also seen shooting potatoes from his ass at the La Tomatina tomato fight in Spain where he had gone for a honeymoon with Barney Frank.
In Denmark Pikachu translates into dick sneeze.
[edit] Marketing
Of course, you've seen the gamut of products bearing Pikachu's visage. Everything from bicycles to condos bears the fuzzy little guy. But what you might not have known, however, is that, for a period in 1998, Pikachus were hunted as part of a promotion for Taco Bell.
The Pikachalupa, as it was known, was a major hit in Romania and Botswana. Unfortunately, it never made it to American markets, as 'Chu meat was banned by the FDA after numerous reported cases of Russian reversal.
PIKABOO. The Russians valued them because they tasted like Germans.
The new Pokemon two-headed electric dildo, sold in fine Adult Bookstores everywhere, has recently been recalled for inciting seizures in Japanese porn stars.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
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