People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata
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People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata (PGRU) is a landlocked African nation with no natural resources, no usable farmland, and no means to support human life in any form. Its population relies entirely on Angelina Jolie for its survival.
“Aha! An article without quotes! Or, well, not any longer...”
~ Oscar Wilde on This article
“Lets make it two, shall we?”
~ somebody on This article
“I think I'll make my next film/sex tape there”
~ Paris Hilton on Uukumbamabahalarata
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| Official language | Engliqs | |
| Capital | Minneimbomahuutuuapolis | |
| Largest City | Imbomahuutuuuukumbamabahalarata | |
| President | Lenny W. Imbomahuutuu | |
| Established by Lenny Imbomahuutuu | circa April 1998 | |
| Population | 600,000 | |
| Currency | The Big Mac | |
| National anthem | Theme From Black Hawk Down | |
| Mascot | Maddox Jolie | |
| National Flower | Dandelion | |
Contents |
[edit] History
Uukumbamabahalarata gained its independence from Antarctica in a bloody junta in April of 1998. The Republic's first leader, Lenny Imbomahuutuu, embezzled billions of dollars of U.N. relief money meant to help the impoverished nation, and wired it to secret accounts in Switzerland. This was an amazing feat, given that Imbomahuutuu was an illiterate weed farmer who's greatest exposure to technology had been a broken Etch-a-Sketch left in his village years earlier by some passing soldiers. Upon his second-in-command Jimba Okombwebwe's discovery of this, he and the other powerful political figures in Uukumbamabahalarata staged a revolution. The revolution began in May of 1998, and lasted three weeks. The revolution ended with the victory of Okombwebwe, who walked into the capitol with a handgun and demanded sovreignty. Imbomahuutuu appeased Okombwebwe with his family goat, three clay beads, and a Big Mac, in exchange for the right to remain president. As of now (2006) Uukumbamabahalarata is at war with the The Fiji-Iraq-Mali-Chad Four-Letter Alliance. Imbomahuutuu is suspected of having bought nuclear warheads on the Iranian black market (Iran refused to join the Four-Letter Alliance).
[edit] War On Terror
In 2003, George Bush declared Uukumbamabahalarata to be a 'rogue state' and possessing WMDs. When it was pointed out to him that Uukumbamabahalarata was harmless and thought by many scientologists not to actually exist, he sozzledly stated 'they said that Persia doesn't exist any more, but that don't mean we can't BOMB THE CRAP OUT OF IT.' As generally happens after Dubya decides he doesn't like something, it turns into a Muslim state and declares war on the West. Shite militias (not Shi'ite) have recently taken control of the more barren regions and Sunnies (happy people) have been forced indoors by a 10 am curfew. This has led many, including Australian Prime Munster John Howard to condemn Lenny Imbomahuutuu for allowing things to get this bad. Mr Imbomahuutuu responded in 2006 by declaring 'invade us we have oil'. However it was later proven that due to Uukumbamabahalarata being entirely comprised of concrete, this must me false
[edit] Angelina Jolie's Discovery
In 1930 adventures of Angelina Jolie (which lasted 70 years), she discovered the People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata. It was a fledgling nation and was dying after the revolution of 1998. The people were hungry so Angelina Jolie gave them mind-controlling DVD Players that fed off of their meek starving bodies. The only movie it played was Lara Croft: Tomb Raider which destroyed the people's minds ending their hunger. Angelina Jolie keeps pressing the restart button which will keep the nation hungerless forever (why she didn't just set "repeat mode" we'll never know....)
[edit] Exports and Imports
Exports
- Fly-attracting aftershave
- Babies weighing less than one-third of a pound
- DVD Players
- AIDSs
- Rocks
- Rotten Pumpkins
Imports
- Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
- Disinfectant
- HIV
- Nuclear Weapons
- Dirt
[edit] Fun Facts
- Every .002 seconds, a child in Uukumbamabahalarata has its eyes pecked out by vultures.
- Unlike most of the African nations, Uukumbamabahalarata is composed of two ethnic groups that hate each other fiercely, as opposed to the 300 in others.
- Uukumbamabahalarata's name originated from the failed original version of the Happy meal.
- Under British Colonialism, Uukumbamabahalarata was known as "The British Royal Colony of Pippipcheerioia". The British were thrown out in 1955 and, unlike most of the African nations, Uukumbamabahalarata went to hell in a hand-basket in six months.
- In 2001 Uukumbamabahalarata rejected plans by the African Union to introduce a universal African currency, known as the McDonalds coupon.
- Due to the lack of need for food, Uukumbamabahalaratans are thought to be able to live forever. However, a high rate of HIV infections (85%) prevents this ever happening
[edit] Famous Uukumbamabahalaratans
| North Africa | South Africa · Algeria · Egypt · France · Libya · Morocco · Sudan · Tunisia · Western Sahara |
| West Africa | Benin · Burkina Faso · Côte d'Ivoire · Ghana · Guinea · Guinea-Bissau · Library · Bob Marley · Mauritania · Niger · Nigeria · Senegal · Sierra Leone · Togo |
| Central Africa | Angola · Cameroon · Belgium · Central African Republic · Chad · Democratic Republic of the Congo · Equatorial Guinea · Tieland · Grab On · Republic of the Congo |
| East Africa | Burundi · To Boogy · Eritrea · Ethiopia · Kenya · Madagascar · Malawi · Mauritius · Mozambique · Rwanda · Seychelles · Somalia · Tanzania · Uganda · West Kenya · Zambia · Rhodesia |
| Southern Africa | Botswana · Gowandaland · Lesotho · Namibia · People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata · South Africa · Swaziland · Zululand |
| Our Benevolent Rulers | United Kingdom : Gibraltar · Indian Ocean Territory · Isle of Wight · Welsh Congo (Pitcairn Islands) |
