No

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No.

“Oh Noes!!!”

~ Fag on The word 'No'

“No. Just, for the love of God shut the fuck up.”

~ Everyone on Britney Spears jokes

“Yes.”

~ Anyone on 'No' during opposite day

“Just Say No!”

~ Nancy Reagan on Ronald Reagan's Presidential Campaign

Probably one of the most useful and popular words in the English language, no provides its user with a simple way to avoid doing things. In particular, the word gives you an easy get out clause from:

Further explanation
Tiresome diplomacy
Washing up
Requests
Complaints
Getting out of a chair
Beggars

1 How to use it
2 History aka: Saddest experience, you'll ever know
3 How to Say No without saying it
4 No in the mirror aka The Truth about the hatred No indulges
5 Questions which often elicit no for an answer
6 Another No
7 See also
8 External links

[edit] How to use it

When using the word no, it is usually best to adopt a completely neutral tone of voice, utter it quickly and decisively, and then run. This avoids fights.

Please note that if used incorrectly, "no" may actually mean yes.

Don't prefix the word with Oh. Oh is a happy and innocent looking word and it is tempting to just put it in front of no, for a laugh. Doing this, however, generally presages disaster, such as the immanent falling of a piano on an innocent mouse or total financial ruin. Note that the word "piano" has a "no" in it, as does the word "note." Despite this, people continue to succumb, especially in Hollywood films. And then they get all surprised when their foot is bitten off by a giant lizard.

Of course, using "no" excessively can cause severe cancer of the toes. It's best to use is sparingly, or in utter emergencies.

By the way, make sure you don't confuse "no" with it's hostile sibling "on". "No" will be likely to get very angry and eventually will kill you and your damn family and friends because it is simply absurd to confuse "no" with "on"! Come no, man! Who'd do THAAAAT, eh?!! Oh, and it is time to go to sleep. Please turn the light no and sit no your bed while I fornicate with your stuffed animals, and do not tell me no, it just makes me hotter.

Say No Never Go commonly used in prostitution

As in "a-no" You weigh a not

[edit] History aka: Saddest experience, you'll ever know

"Can I cross the street?" No, just no.

“No.......uh.........”

~ 'Noah (you know, the guy with all the pets) on The word No'

The word we use today is a truncated form of the ancient Mesopotamian: 'No way pal'. The Mesopotamians were a slow and thoughful race, but not very given to the idea of collective effort. They were eventually wiped out by the Romans after their village was surrounded. The Romans gave them 120 opportunities to surrender before destroying the village to save time.

On colonising Mesopotamia, the Romans quickly adopted the word and shortened it to 'Nah', believing that this would give their formal refusals an air of jaunty cheerfulness. The opposite happened, however, and the collapse of their empire swiftly followed, due to countless mutinies and refusals to obey orders out of sheer irritation.

Julius Caesar himself is said to have claimed the following about some other incident:

“In hoc incidentius, qui est turpissime in meus eyeus, Asterix mecum consensus habere, quod hic vagina galliae non dulcisse est, no- *cough*. Ehoi, minime, in nullus modus!”

~ J.C., the real on Gallian vagina

--Due to a perticular incident, I and my friend Asterix agree that Gallian pussy tastes non good, no-*cough*. Oh non, in non way!-- (roughly translated by Microsoft Sam)

As you can see, Caesar must have had a really bad cough so he couldn't finish the sentence properly. Instead of saying "non" he obviously said "no"! JC came up with that statement at a time when No wasn't very popular yet. Every Roman preferred to use "non" to deny verbs or "minime" which means "the least". Ergo, they were really in the need for a strong, ballbusting word to express their true, deeply pessimistic feelings.

In 450 B.C., the Romans established the 12 Tables of Roman law. It was at these tables that young virgins were trained in the art of motherhood, to prepare them to raise a race of Roman soldiers. For hours upon hours each day, for six months, the virgins were instructed on the art of saying 'Nah', which, (as we all know) eventually evolved to 'No'.

Once they achieved an acceptable level of the 'Art of No' (or, years later, as the French would say, 'Les Arts des Non'), then the virgins were allowed to begin their next, more difficult practice - 'BAAcK-OZ u Sudzo'. This evolved through the centuries to the familiar, 'Because I said so...'

[edit] How to Say No without saying it

Noo! You monster!

Q: Can I borrow your makeup?

A: Sure! My coldsore is pretty much gone- does this spot look funny to you?

Q: Can you babysit my little sister?

A: Why not? And I really appreciate not holding that whole baby shaking thing against me.

Q: Can I borrow your Science book tonight? I was bludging and now I need the stuff off the board.

A: Yeah, that's fine. Don't worry about the green slodges- my brother got some snot on it.

Q: Can you please come over to my house tonight?

A: No...pe.

Q: Want to have sex with me?

A: Sure thing, you probably won't get my AIDS.

Q: Do i look pretty today?

A: Yeah, you remind me of my grandma.

Q: Want to join the Republican party?

A: Sure, let me roll up my Soviet flags real quick.

Q: Did you vote for george bush?

A: NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!!!!!

[edit] No in the mirror aka The Truth about the hatred No indulges

When No first realized how ugly its own reflection is, it started to hate the word On.

ОИ. The reflection of No. No hates mirrors since it looks like it's evil alter ego "ON". But On has no denying notion to it so it made No very angry to hear the truth.

No is the only word there is that neglects its own narcissism. Eventually, it led to the end that people began to use the word "No" in order to express denial. No lost its fashionable image. In the 70's it was even considered a sin to use the word no! Hippies rather preferred to say "Hmmm, I can't really say that I agree with you!" or "I'm afraid that I had something else in mind, actually the exact opposite!" instead of carelessly exclaiming "No.".

Robert Crumb's Underground Comics often consist of panels depicting nothing but a very lonely, abandoned "No" sitting in a corner. He purposely fueled the fire lingering in every single Hippy at the time.

“Oh ghawd! I'd llllove to witness the extinction of.. of... hmrrrrr... "No"! I can't see no No anymore, givez me goose bumps. That's why I moved to France in the first place! I remember my worst nightmare: I dreamed of one o' those horny chicks with them fat elephant feet and when I started to lick her toes a No came out of the blue!! I thought I shat my pants!”

~ 'Robert Crumb on his life with the word No'

[edit] Questions which often elicit no for an answer

WARNING

This article is just a list.
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Otherwise, the High Lord Bradaphraser and his minions shall strike it down
without regard to personal attachment or quality of whining.
If you truly care, make it an article.
Any monkey can make a list.

Are you a human?
Do you like penises more than boobs?
Yes?
No?
Will you respond to this question with a syntactically correct reply?
Are you dead?
Are you talking in your sleep?
Are you asleep?
Are we there yet?
Any chance of a bowl of trifle?
Can you think of a word that begins with an "n", ends with an "o" and only has two letters? You don't have to say the actual word. Just answer yes or no depending upon whether or not you have guessed the word...The word is not "yes"........The answer is also not "yes"................It is coincidentally the opposite of "yes"......................It seriously doesn't rhyme with "yes"
May I park my registered caravan on the Queen's bowling green?
May I play golf on the Queen's bowling green?
May I use the Queen's bowling green to grow and nurture prize-winning root vegetables? And Turnips.
To the zookeeper - May I borrow your tiger?
Will you marry me? (alternately, "Will you go out with me?")
Will you please put your pants on, sir? This is a church.
Will you kill him?
Will you PLEASE kill him?
Will you let him live?
Will you give me pie?
Can I jump on your head?
Will you give me your mother's underwear?
Do you have SRS?
Luke,I am your father.
n00b to l33t gamer - can I pwn j00, this is my first time?
Can you please go away, father, for mother said not to touch me in my special place.
wanna have sex honey?
Can you talk?
PLEASE?
Are you sure about the sex? (under extreme circumstances you get the yes to this one.) !CAUTION it may be pity sex.!
Can I ---- you up the ---, -----?!
yes?
May I?
Do you ever say anything else but "no"?
Did you enjoy your life?
Dar ähk man fugh aman-luck dschüldjüdsch an, mother Theresa?
Parlez-vous français, Therêsááá?
Sprechen sie meine verdammte Sprache, Arschloch von Mutter Theresa?
Did you understand the three previous questions?
Is that cop following us?
Hashimemashite, anataha nihonjinwa desu ne?
Will they stop shooting if we pull over?
Can I watch TV?
I've got shot in the neck, honey, shouldn't I see a doctor?!
Should I cut the nuke's red wire like so?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Do you love me?
Do you wanna go sit in time out?
Are you voting for George W Bush this year? (this will get a very big response)
Has Tony Blair told the truth yet?
May I brand you with this red-hot iron?
STFU
Is this a question?
Didya fart?
Asa e ca esti prost?
Sigur?
Do you know what the previous 2 rows mean?
All Your Base Are Belong To Us.
Can I leave now?
Did you steal the cookie from the cookie jar?
Did you bring a light?
Are you cheating on me?
You're a noob.
Are you my mommy?
Will you tell me your password?
¿De dónde es?
Are you naked?
Is there a point in anything we do?
Do you wanna not come play Dungeons and Dragons?
Are you Chuck Norris?
Are you still gonna eat that?
Can I redeem my credit card miles?
Meatloaf, would you do anything for love?
Do these jeans make my behind look big?
Does my fat ass make my ass look fat?
Don't you want to come to my cousin's wedding?
Do you know who the fuck this creepy nerd who keeps calling me is?
Hey baby, can I come in?
(Or) Hey baby, would you like to come in?
Let's have sex!
Does Duke Nukem Forever come out this year?
Next year?
Can you justify a single one of your actions throughout your long and worthless life?
Will you get off my mom?
R i Smrt?
Do you want a PS3?
Why do you build me up, buttercup?
Wanna go to couple's therapy?
Will you marry me?
Wanna check out Uncyclopedia?
Is Wikipedia accurate?
O RLY?
¿Hablas español?
Can you stop saying no?
Can you please?
Pretty please?
Pretty please with a cherry on top?
Ugly please with a cherry on top?
Stuff you!!
Yes?
Are you a good person?
Let's have a mouse war!
Do you have AIDS?
a good night for date rape eh?
Can u spare some change?
Can I?
Umm?
Err?
Kirk's better than Picard?
Do you love me?
¿¿satipap sut rad sedeup em??
(008 to Krystal) Will you get off me now? I have some Anglars to kill.
what tha heck are those...?
Do you not like pie?
Is school useful?
Is the square root of 3.14 Pi?
Is it over 9000?
Will it ever be over 9000?
Are you a noob?
Is your mom going to call me back?
Are we going on a field trip?
A field trip?
A field trip?
A field-
SHUT UP!!
Can I date your dad?
Does Head-Oи apply directly to the forehead?
Do you love my piggy?
Are you Spider pig?
Is Axel really dead?
Really?!
cn eye cybr wit u
Spaceballs?
Holy Hand Grenade?
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Lemme borrow that top, betch?
Did you bring a lamp?
Have you NOT NOT slept with Michael Jackson?
Is yes a synonym for the opposite of the negative contrast to the paradoxical oxymoron of the spanish word for no?
Which one?
The blue one or the red one?
Have I ever not seen you?
HEY, touch this, please, c'mon, now, NOW! TOUCH IT!
(To the Pope) Is god black?
Stop raping me!
Is mayonaise an instrument?
Is horseradish an instrument?
Is this the part where we start kicking?
Can Kurt Cobain play the guitar?
Can Kurt Cobain do anything?
Is this a pipe?
Am I l33t?
Is Tom Cruise straight?
Wana ride my Spring shoe?
What does Darth Vader say at the end of the movie?
Will you "hand" me some toilet paper?
GTFO MAI INTERWEBS!
Is Killzone 2 any good?
Should I get Windows Vista?
What does 01001110 01101111 mean?
Would you like to extend your long distance plan?
Will France ever win a military conflict?
Should we buy Super Smash Bros. Brawl?
If you are gay say no, okay?
Do you have any other word in your vocabulary other that no?
What do dumbasses say to girls when they wanna bang?
Do you like the Yes album "Drama"?
Do you know where Syd Barrett lives?
Ble wyt ti'n byw?
Should I buy a 360?
Put the gun down!
Will you suck my dick?
Naiintindihan mo ba ako?
Is this No?
STOP RAIPING ME
want sex baby
STOP TEABAGING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you wanna see me naked?
are you lockie leonard
are you vicky streeton
dose yes mean no?
i love acid(reaky i do Skyhusky13 =D)
Did you know if your said 'No', your gay?