NetBSD
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“NetBSD is so clean you could eat off of it.”
“Either Theo de Raadt goes, or I...”
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[edit] WTF NetBSD
NetBSD (interNET Bourne Sexual Disease) is a computer virus and is the only STD that can be contracted over TCP/IP. The first recorded case of NetBSD was invented in 1412, when Charles Babbage found it running on his analytical engine after a heavy night of unprotected pr0n surfing. At exactly the same time, on the other side of the galaxy, Alan Turing independently discovered NetBSD on his iPod.
[edit] NetBSD today
While the internet is still the worlds inflatable sex toy, occurrences of NetBSD are few. This is partially due to the discovery of a cure by Bill Gates; a hard punch in the face followed by a fresh Windows install, as well as safe-sex practices such as deleteing the 'history' from your browser.
[edit] Portability
NetBSD is highly regarded as the least portable operating system in the world. In technical parlance, this means that its code can be printed out and moved between locations very easily – the entire kernel fits onto 4 A4 pages (8 point font). NetBSD has been ported between churches and hospitals, pet shops and brothels, and even McDonald's and tar pits.
Unfortunately, since you can now run Linux on a PS3, NetBSD has been relegated to the 'Dannii' of the Unix-Minouge family.
[edit] Abstraction
NetBSD suffers from a bad case of abstraction. Proponents of this operating system call this “clean design”. It has been abstracted so much that the entire kernel is composed of one short reentrant subroutine. This causes an extremely noticeable slowdown in execution on all computers. For example, an ancient VAX would be reduced to something that seems slower than a pocket calculator. There are no plans to port NetBSD to the pocket calculator because of this. In fact the “Net” in NetBSD refers to how you feel using this amazing operating system. This is also a reason that BSD is dying.
[edit] Other items of note
NetBSD uses GNU software developed by neo-stalinist Richard Stallman.
NetBSD is used by (not yet) famous geek [kgb] aka UFO from Poland.
The return of NetBSD to modern computing was predicted in the book of revelations.
NetBSD is currently the only operating system to support the olive press feature found in most floppy disk drives.
