Narcotics Anonymous
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Narcotics Anonymous is an organization that addicts and other drunks join in order to get laid. It is not to be confused with Alcoholics Anonymous, which is where drunks and other addicts go to stop drinking (well, hopefully). Co-founded by Iggy Pop.
[edit] The 12 Steps
1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction and that crack and heroin are way too expensive.
2. We came to believe that Robert Downey Jr. and our NA books can restore us to sanity.
3. Turned our minds and our cash over to bernie Tauper.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of everything that has ever gone wrong in our lives and who was at fault.
5. Admitted to God, ourselves, and everyone on the Internet everything we've done wrong.
6. We were entirely ready to stop doing everything wrong.
7. Asked God to fix us, because fixing ourselves sounds like a lot of work and addicts don't like spending anything, except money on drugs.
8. Made a list of persons we had harmed and a list of ways to avoid them.
9. Avoided such people wherever possible.
10. Continued to list everything we have done wrong, and when we were wrong, found a way to blame other people, drugs, or our addiction for them.
11. Prayed and meditated often. (Okay, say that we pray and meditate often, because "good" people pray and meditate frequently, and often mention God for no apparent reason)
12. Spread the word like a Christian missionary because misery loves company. Also, judge anyone that has so much as one beer or one hit off a joint as a potential addict.
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