Mount Doom
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Mount Doom is the largest mountain in Mordor and one of the largest volcanoes evar. It is the subject of several paintings, novels, poems and plays. The volcano is not currently active.
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[edit] Origins
Mount Doom was created by J.R.R. Tolkien to aid in the destruction of the worlds most dangerous croissant. It was grown, like all volcanoes, from a volcano seed which is 9/10ths OMGfire! 1/10th larva. Since its creation, a large community of gypsies have traveled around the base of the mountain once every 2 and a half years. But nobody cares about gypsies. The name "Mount Doom" which Tolkien gave his creation was apparently inspired by a ZZ Top song, but no-one knows which one. Or maybe it was just all the drugs Tolkien took. (Unsurprisingly, Tolkien was an habitual kitten huffer.)
[edit] Wildlife
Mt. Doom's wildlife is rich and varied. There are trees and mosses and stuff. Also mice and rats and things. And hobbitses.
[edit] Trees
Mt. Doom is the only place where one can find the "tolkien acid flashback" talking trees. They are the only breed of tree capable of talking. It is due to them, in fact, that the ancient "tree falls in empty woods" paradox. Yeah they make a sound, dumbass.
Other breeds of tree include Oak, Spruce, Redwood, Oakwood, Sprucewood, Red, Oakspruce and Redspruce
[edit] Hobbitses
The hobbit (plural hobbitses) are a short hairy-footed son-of-a-midget bastard freakshow race of little homonids who spend most of their lives eating, going on epic adventures and getting involved in gay innuendos. Contrary to popular belief, not all hobbitses are homosexuals; if they were, where would baby hobbitses come from? Correct. Delivered by Gandalf.
[edit] Larvae
Mt. Doom is the only volcano which spews out baby insects, rather than super heated rock and magma... No-one is quite sure why. Doom-Larva are little red firefly-like creatures in their larval stage.
[edit] Mt. Doom in literature
Mt. Doom has featured in media of all sorts with varying degrees of success. Tourism has risen though, especially to the well-known flower-gardens at the rear entry.
[edit] Film
[edit] Peter Jackson's Sadistic Endurance test
The PJSET, the brainchild of Peter Jackson, the worlds most deviously evil sheep, is a sport which was developed entirely to test the endurance of the cinema going public. The idea is to dress in the most ridiculous costume one can find, preferably with a weapon of some kind and silly ears, and then sit with your feet stuck to the floor for as long as possible. Disguised as a film, and featuring Mt. Doom in a prominent role, this "sportutainment" was a huge success and will be a new event at the 2017 olympics.
[edit] Dante's Peak
Dante's peak was an unsuccessful James Bond film where Thomas Crown had to attack a mountain (played ably by Mt. Doom) with a jeep while protecting Sarah Connor from der Gubernator.
[edit] Book
[edit] Tolkien's memoirs
Mt. Doom features prominently in the memoirs of J.R.R.O.M.G.W.T.F.B.B.Q. Tolkien, the creator of the volcanoe. There are 3 chapters devoted to the creation of the mountain which list the stages of volcano creation in almost pornographic detail. The theory is that Tolkien was off his tits when he wrote his memoirs and that a lot of the stages in the creation were products of the psychoactive compounds in his bloodstream. The bit about how the fairies and worms farted OMGfire into seed form during his brief soujourn on Venus is particularly suspect, as the fairies and worms on Venus are notoriously unfriendly.
[edit] Poem
[edit] Jabberwocky
Lewis Carroll's confused and underappreciated masterpiece was said to be inspired by a week he spent with the Mt. Doom gypsies. They told him stories of the Borogroves and Jub-Jub birds of their ancestral homeland and the stories of the mythical vorpal blade which could cut any cheese without having it flake. Carroll had for some time been obsessed with cutting the perfect slice of Jabberwocky Extra Mature Cheddar. The Obsession drove him mad and the poem evolved out of his deranged psyche. Though not specifically mentioning Mt. Doom, the poem is obviously supposed to take place in its foothills, since there are very few places where Mome Raths still Outgrabe in the wild.
[edit] Mt. Doom myths
There are a lot of myths that surround Mt. Doom. Among them is the persistent rumour that Satan lives in a camper van on the outskirts of the mountain (close to the flower gardens). This is quite obviously bollocks. Satan CAN afford a hut, and it is near the elevator.
Another persistent rumour is that Mt. Doom is a volcano. This is false. It is a volcanoe. How people can ever confuse the two is utterly baffling.
Scientists have theorized that the lava spewed by Mt. Doom is not actually lava, but superheated molten rock.
