Moon

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full moon

Ze Moon

The Moon on steroids

For more details on this topic, see Is the moon made of cheese?

“We like da moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnn! But not as much as cheese!”

~ Spongemonkeys on Da Moon

“That is no death star.”

~ Obi-Wan Kenobi on The moon

“ IVE BEEN TO THE MOON . ”

~ It. on The moon

“I have a fantastic holiday home here - only problem is that the local shop is just so far away...”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Moon

“...What? Where?”

~ Neil Armstrong on The Moon

“She should have been a Sun”

~ Kurt Cobain on The Moon

“I'm The Moon!”

~ Nick White on The Moon

Some people claim the moon landings were a hoax. However, they have never been able to satisfactorily explain away contrary evidence such as this image.

The Moon (not to be confused with the Smoon), owned by America, is a sphere-shaped lump of valuable moldy cheeses which will soon be home to "The Mall of the Galaxy" featuring 485 stores, 3 security guards, and a White Castle restaurant. Most of the time, it is visible only by night, when the glow of fluorescent cheddar cheese on the surface of the moon is visible due to the lack of sunlight. Another theory is that the moon glows because it is a gigantic fluerescent lightbulb, which is covered by a thin layer of dust. When ancient creatures first got to the moon, the moon was just a fluerecent ball. But due to constant housecleaning, the moon got covered with dust. Ancient people, tribes and societies worshipped the moon as a goddess, sacrificing "virgins" to it. If at any time the moon is not visible it means Ashley and Dylan ate it and it will be back shortly.

The moon consists of the desiccated semen of Thor. In the old times, people used to think that The Moon was made of stone, which was obviously ridiculous and thus obsoleted in 1969 by the space mission Apollo 11. The moon can be noticed switching places irrationally throughout the month. This is called Lunar behaviour and has a weird effect on some people, making them do radical Moon-related things, such as taking part in Moon Pie eating competitions and howling at the moon. These people are called Lunatics and Politicians; respectivly.

The Moon has distinct phases, which are known as Full Moon, Half Moon, New Moon, and Keith Moon. According to the moon the full moon is the moon everyone knows and loves, the half moon is alright and no one gives a shit about the 3/4 moon, when does he come 2-3 days into calender month? No one cares. All of these phases occur monthly in a random manner, but since Keith Moon's death in 1978, The Moon has had only three phases. Keith Moon's death had a major effect on lunar behaviour, which caused severe flooding, unnatural changing of the tides, and an increase in the amount of lunatics.

Keith Moon

The moon has been routinely plagued by controversy over such questions as: "What's up with the moon?" and "Why is it? No seriously, like, why is it?".

1 Major Locations
2 Creation
3 Alternative Versions
4 Population
5 Mooning
6 Side effects from looking at the moon
7 Famous People Currently Living On The Moon
8 See Also
9 External links

[edit] Major Locations

A full moon rising over a street in Vienna. Its unusually small size is the result of the moon being at apogee at the time the photo was taken.

There are a few places that are a must-see for anyone planning a trip to The Moon.

Apollo 11 landing site

This is actually located in two places: Hollywood, LA and The Moon. This is because NASA was afraid that Apollo 11 would never reach their destination, and built an alternative Moon landing site in a movie studio to receive the bonuses, whatever happened to the mission. See: Moon landing hoax

The Seas

The moon has large, darker areas across its surface, which are known as the "seas" of The Moon. These large expanses of water are the main reason that the moonmen are able to survive. There are no creatures living in these seas, as they are filled with pollutants from the moonmen, who have two mouths and several recta.

Nazi Moon Base

In the 1940's, when defeat seemed inevitable for the nazis, they built a base on the dark side of the moon to regain their military strength and start another Holocaust. This moon base was also responsible for the Boxing Day Tsunami in South-east Asia, by slightly changing the moon's orbit, thus creating a tidal wave. The moon base is now used to monitor the world's thoughts by Nestle, a division of the Nazi party.

[edit] Creation

When Zeus was ready with his snowshaker that we call the earth. He gave it to his ill wife Posseidon who was very pleased with it and played with it for decades. While she was playing, she felt the urge to sneeze but at the same time she had the snowshaker in her hands so the giant bugger landed on the glass that surrounds the shaker and was shattered all around. We call the biggest piece of the bugger the moon and the smaller ones the stars. Unfortunately we were busy with global warming which caused all the snow to melt and Posseidon losed her interest in the snowshaker because it wasn't a snowshaker anymore and she didn't even bother to wipe the bugger of the glass.

[edit] Alternative Versions

The Moon, Circa 1902

[edit] Population

An obviously propagandistic advertisement for the Moon.

Martians (refugees,from Mars, of course)

Lunar Ticks

Lunar Ticks (AKA lunatics), contrary to popular belief, are not giant man-eating ticks that live on the moon - rather, they are a minority of peace-loving nudists who just want to be loved.

The Moon Man

Moonmen

The moonmen are short, squat creatures which bear a passing resemblance to the lowest caste of the human race: the emo. they are capable of rudimentary communication, which takes the form of sobs and music, as well as Fall Out Boy impersonations.

Wesley Snipes is a renown moon vampire.

Moon Vampires

Moon Vampires are tall, menacing looking creatures that enjoy the consumpsion of human blood. They resemble humans and have pointy teeth and two green antennae. They only live on the dark side of the moon, but since the moon is constantly turning, they are forced to keep on walking the the opposite direction. If they stop to take a break, they will enter the shiny side of the moon, thus causing their skin to burn away and their teeth to explode inside of their mouths.

[edit] Mooning

The gesture known as "mooning" actually started as an inside joke of the NASA, when the first TV images of Neil Armstrong landing on the moon showed him descending the pants of his space suit, and bending over, thus revealing his behind to the TV camera. For some reason, NASA officials decided that that had to be edited out, and Neil Armstrong should climb back to the landing pod for a retake of the same scene, with him repeating the famous phrase about big leaps and mankinds to test whether the radio was functioning. This caught on, and became the punchline of the Moon landing.

Nowadays, "mooning" is considered as a secret salute of NASA.

[edit] Side effects from looking at the moon

As pretty as the moon is, you shouldn't look at it for too long- if you do, youll ve changed into an animated japanese school girl, this may not seem so bad, but you'll be surprised how many rapists you'll attract.

One can also suffer from moonburn, if exposed to unfiltered moonlight for more than an hour. Typical symptoms include painful sores and red peeling skin, and sadly moonburn is one of the leading causes of death from melanoma worldwide, yet the hazard remains unknown to the general public. To minimise the risk of moonburn, one should wear a hat with a flap at the back and a turtleneck sweater when going out at night, together with copious amounts of LPF 30+ moonscreen. NEVER stare directly at the moon with the naked eye. Even with protection, the recommended maximum nightly exposure to pure moonlight is only two hours, and there is no such thing as a healthy night tan. Moonbaking should be strictly avoided at all costs.