LSD
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“In Soviet Russia, balls trip you!”
~ Russian Reversal on LSD
“Hey mr. Tamboruwqeriuwne maan pley a shung for meeeeeeee”
~ Bob Dylan on LSD
“Woah.. I can like.. see with my ears!”
~ Mr. Year 2123 on LSD
LSD, or as the French would say, Le LSD, is the truth about universe and shit. It was discovered by Fred Astaire in 1689 and first employed to allow soldiers to see inter-dimensional portals, allowing faster than light (FTL) travel on the battlefield. The drug backfired when the soldiers discovered that their enemies were in fact "fucking lizards with huge 20 feet long tongues that raped the souls of their oppressors."
It was soon adopted by American pop-culture in the 1920s as an alternative to alcohol, which soon led to orgies of blood in the streets of Manhattan (as documented in the film Singing in the Rain).
At the end of the 1960's, Timothy Leary decried LSD as a menace to society, and called for its outlaw. October 29th, 1969 saw the outlawing of LSD, causing the huge LSD factories to stop production immediately. Subsequently, the LSD-dependent economy of the United Spades of Amerika crashed, ushering in the Great Depression. Panicked stockbrokers, breaking into their stash of bad acid, jumped out of buildings on Wall Street, assuming they were frogs and could eat flies.
Soon after, alcohol prohibition was repealed, allowing former LSD junkies to drown their sorrows.
The serial murders committed by the Kool-Aid Man have been attributed to LSD.
LSD has since been replaced by LCDs, which are a more-costly yet still-usable way of seeing images of things that never existed. LCDs are a very potent liquid form of LSD being pushed by a notoriously shady subgroup of the IT community known as dealers, who (much like the LSD dealers before them) have a large number of users who are all hooked and eagerly waiting to download the latest fix.
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[edit] Effects
LSD can cause frightening side effects, including but not limited to: the enjoyment of Dark Side of the Moon, understanding the White Album, watching movies that star Elijah Wood, seeing OH SHIT patterns in the wall, digging music by The Misunderstood, going into FUCKING outer space and back MAN, hiding underneath water, becoming one with the grungy couch in the corner, finding a cat which repeatedly yells "NEOW MEOW NO MEOW" and doesn't run , and trying to stick the cat on a pair of Spring shoes , thinking marker blarsh can also sing, the ability to make your car turn into an air plane (sweeeeet), the ability to discover and fully understand that a 90 degree corner just ends in two places at once (whooa), the ability to perceive reality as two separate screens playing distinctly different movies (when walking behind a companion), finding Zippy the Pinhead funny, having all lights tinged purple, and the ability to not feel any side effects of the drug cannabis (a.k.a. marijuana, chronic, the reefer, ganja, reggo, dope, oregano, table-tennis). LSD users have been known to watch, and reminisce about children's television shows (typically from the 1980's) such as "Under the Umbrella Tree", sometimes realizing that "Under the Umbrella Tree" rhymes with LSD, and that this could turn into a great song. However, many non-high sources have confirmed that that such a song is likely to be terrible.
Many school children are currently feeling these effects, as the government has made it compulsory for all milk cartons to be laced with the drug, in order to achieve a group of new-thinking pupils. However, when the cartons are left out in the sun, the LSD in the milk is rendered ineffective, and just makes it taste slightly sharp. Many people have reported waking up on the side of the road naked the next morning after taking LSD. This is due to a substance known as Uranium Dioxide, found in LSD when the odour is given off anything within 1 foot although there is a low chance of the odor escaping your body. LSD provides an excellent experience when taken properly. It is often taken as a depressant drug,or when and individual is bored or just wanting to have fun. Many people see fun animals to play with.Also many people have been met but leave when the high is gone. Some after being high wake up naked next to someone they've never met. If LSD is taken improperly the worst experience may happen. In 1998 a man took the drug improperly. He was in his bed awake when he woke up still high when a robber came in, the man found a gun and shot the robber and went back to sleep. The next morning he woke up and realized there was no robber. An eight foot cockroach was lying dead on the floor from an apparent staple gun-shot wound.
[edit] Alternatives to LSD
A great, all-natural organic alternative to LSD is morningglory seeds. The main ingredient in LSD is also found in morning glory seeds. They can be ground up and ingested for a colorful lightshow starring gay FBI men in bikinis stabbing niggers with fountain pens.
[edit] Can also mean
- Pounds, shillings and pence (£sd)
- Low Sodium Diet
- Lick Some Dick
- The Unix ls daemon, which responds to calls made by the ls command
- Lucy in the sky with diamonds
- Laughing Sam's Dice
- Could also be confused with LDS, or "Latter-Day Saints"
- Laxative Sun Drug, a pharmaceutical for the constipated people of warm, sub-Saharan climates.
- Long Shore Drift
- Low String Drop
- Legolas Siobhan Dolev ... The Gaming Company who's newest game ACID if fun for the whole family!!
- Lazy Strippers Dancing under colored lights.
[edit] Things LSD are commonly used with
Christopher Columbus was not actually sailing away for the precious mineral of gold. He considered LSD to be "gold" and decided to sail away to the Americas where the Mexicans (more specifically the Northern Gangsta Mexicans or Cholos) were using it liberally to keep their low riders running smoothly, completely unaware of the fact that it can be sold for, as quoted by Columbus himself, "Major cashola, dude!" Also note that the previous quote is not fucking funny at all.
[edit] Everyday Uses of LSD
Commonly ingested at breakfast by meddlesome philosophers, this lovely mental medicine can be yours for the price of a pizza! Can make space and time seem relative and subject to the mind, but can also make demons eat your head, which also is currently a banana named Bill. If you eat too much, Jefferson Airplane may spontaneously appear in front of you and Timothy Leary's voice may echo softly through the room. It is also widely known that frequent use of LSD can cause some individuals to spontaneously transform into Rock Stars, Deities, or extremely nasty food products. It is therefore recommended that one only experiment with this volatile substance under the supervision of trained professionals such as Matthew Lesko or Dick Van Dyke.
Can Thus Be Used For:
- Entertainment during otherwise serious moments.
- Being a traveler of both time and space.
- Finally understanding The Doors.
- Tasting purple.
- Getting Higher
- Knowing everything, in its entirety, all at once.
- Turning Mr. Roger's Neighborhood into a demon hell ride.
- Finding enjoyment from a pair of glowing squishy balls.
- Finding Waldo... and understanding where he has been and where he will be... and whoa mannnnnnn
- Enjoying Pink Floyd
- Watching Vin Diesel movies
- Making Sirhan Sirhan kill JFK
- Watching children's television
- Quelling outbreaks of Hippie flu
[edit] How the world looks like while you're on LSD
Mario shouldn't have combined LSD with those hallucinogen mushrooms he insists in eating constantly for some reason.
Picture yourself in a boat on a river, With tangerine trees and marmalade skies Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Cellophane flowers of yellow and green, Towering over your head. Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, And she's gone.
The director of Blck Hole Sun on 1994 used LSD.
[edit] Slang Terms for LSD
- Lysergic acid diethylamide - A nonsense name which parodies chemistry jargon. Mike Hunt of austin blurted this while eating a cat.
- Lake Shore Drive - A metaphor for an LSD "vacation" being similar to driving around a lake shore.
- Acid-even though it doesn't burn like acid... wait I take that back...
- Aunt Flo- This term gained popularity when Florence Nightingale made a particularly potent sheet of blotter bearing the design which would later go on to adorn the American Flag.
- Limited slip differential
- Lick Some Dicks - Be careful when using this term, as they may misunderstand your meaning. However, that may turn out to be a positive result.
[edit] See Also
- Alexander Shulgin
- LDS
- Boohbah
- Pink Floyd
- Timothy Leary
- Terence Mckenna
- American Children
- Hunter S. Thompson
- Teletubbies
- Rorschach Inkblot Acid Test
- Acid trip
- Acid Rain
- Shamen
- Salvia
- Vladimir Putin
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