Kitler

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NOTICE:

Are you sure that you didn't mean to search for America?

“They're the only cats that look right.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Kitler

“He's actually my cousin, my aunt LOVED animals.”

~ Adolf Hitler on Kitler

The Holy Kitler
Kitler hates you and Mews

Species	Kitler's
Classification	The only Cats that look like ~~Nixon~~ Hitler
Position	Ruler of the Galaxy; Leader of the Noseys.
Motive	To kill all Mews
Weapon	Their meowing
Super Powers	Cutiness
Born	April 20th, 1933.
Death Date	Kitler cannot die.

[edit] Do I have a Kitler?

You know when you have a kitler is when

They Hate you and Americans

They make things that are lumbby but mostly softy but mostly runny on you carpet

You wake up in the middle of the night to check that they haven't snuck out of the house to invade Poland.

They Worship Bush

They Hate Mews

If you make them take a bath they hiss and claw at you

You never seen them at home

They aren't home alot

They have small mustache

They look like they are Emo which they probably are

They ~~once~~ ALWAYS TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

They piss on your sheets and lips when your asleep

Hitler and Kitler doing their Famous happy Nazi Dance. What happened next - Kitler dances for a bit, then pulls a gun an asplodes the back of Hitler's head, lots of spray as Hitler drops down dead. Kitler kung fu leaps onto the back of the other dumb nazi, twisting his head clean off in once sweeping motion and then shits in the neck. He jumps down to the corpse of Hitler and rips the moustache off the fleshy remains of Hitler's face and wears it, then proceeds to dance with the new tache on his face and does a little twirl. Kitler, the most destructive force in the universe, no one is mo mo fo than the bad one fo sho.

Nazi kittens crush the jewish cat

[edit] So you have a Kitler

Don't fear, here some rules to help take care of your kitler.

Don't let it get fat. It will hate you more if it is fat.

Don't try to cuddle with it. It will hate you more, and you'll come out of it severely injured.

Don't let it near the news or newspaper. It's better that you don't know why.

Don't smile when you see it, they hate smiles.

Don't get a dog, that's the last thing you want. Especially if you wish the dog to stay alive.

Don't let it go outside. It may never come back.

Don't attempt to huff a Kitler! This will be disastrous for all involved.

Don't shave it or try to dye it's hair/'stash unless you want to look like a scraching post.

Don't let it near any Mews. Actually, scratch that one. This is usually entertaining.

If you wish to keep your kitler alive, keep it away from the Non-Huffable Kitten at all costs!

Pretend to enjoy cleaning out its litterbox. This will amuse it.

[edit] Creation of the Kitler

Whilst in hyper-sleep, Ripley was impregnated by the non-huffable kitten on board the Nostromo, Jonesy, She chest birthed Kitler in her cryotube. It is obvious to see Kitler is the product of a Ripley/Jonesy mating as Ripley and Kitler both like to prove they are the most destructive being in all creation, like mother like son, by wiping out evil monsters to prove how evil a species they themselves are. Which just goes to show, the orange ones really fuck you up. But then kitten chest birthing happened alot on the Nostromo, every one knew it was going on all the time and didn't try to stop it or anything.