Insect
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“One might say an insect is a tower of peace and purgatory.”
~ Oscar Wilde on insects
“...And I for one welcome our new insect overlords.”
~ Kent Brockman on insects
An insect is a small furred creature with a tendency to eat people's faces for breakfast.
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[edit] Appearance
The modern insect wears a leather jacket and will always be listening to country music. They usually have long hair and wear completely white trainers.
Each insect has a tough outer shell made of butter. No-one has ever tried, but it is said that this is strong enough to repel Egypt. An inner honeycomb effect allows the shell to expand to 10 times its original size, allowing the insect to effectively crush its opponent in the rare event of a physical confrontation.
An insect's only known weakness is a pudding. When eaten, a pudding will cut off all oxygen supplies and change the current track to a Foo Fighters song, which the insect will definitely hate. These deadly diseases will cause the insect to start twitching and then die.
[edit] Common Types
Common types of insect include:
[edit] The First Insect
The universe's very first insect was created by Chuck Norris on the 7th April 1988. It is said that Mr Norris wanted to see if he could make an animal by simply thinking it. The first insect looked like a cat and weighed 600 pounds.
[edit] Early Years
The original members of the insect family were quite shy and didn't get out much. Bears tried to eat them because of this, and soon the global population fell to just 20. Original creator Chuck Norris became angry and started killing anyone who stood in their way, resulting in the revival of the insect race.
Most insects got jobs as car salesmen, due to their high rate of bike stealage. They attacked anyone who owned a bike and created a powerful sense of ownage. Unfortunately, as time went on, the number of trained sales insects exceeded the number of car showrooms. This resulted in a high level of unemployment and widespread farting.
[edit] Problems With Humans
Insects have and always will outnumber humans. Similar to Mexicans and other hispanics, insects reproduce like crazy and they don't die easy either.
[edit] Music
The first insect to forge a career in the music industry was Barry White. As a young child, he released his first album in 1973, "Attack Of The Building", which sold 15 million copies and paved the way for insects to have a future in the music industry for years to come. Unfortunately, Barry White died in the year of the panda, meaning that dance music was allowed to emerge.
Other famous insect musicians include:
[edit] Positions Of Power
The first insect to have a major position of power was Albert Einstein. He became Prime Minister of Africa between the years of 1693 and 1755. He was followed by Nelson Mandela and Anakin Skywalker, with both also becoming band members of Spinal Tap.
By far the most prominent in a world leader role was Bertie Ahern, Irish Prime Minister and honourary egg. He started and ended the Welsh Civil War and also invented submarines, but was brutally murdered when Lobster Jesus knocked him down with a bike.
