Goth

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Goths are known to be self-sufficient farmers.

“I'm so goth, I shit bats.”

~ Marilyn Manson on Goth

“Do not.”

~ Alice Cooper on Marilyn Manson

“That would explain my indigestion yesterday.”

~ Ozzy Osbourne on bats

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Goth.

Goths (also known as "Those kids who smoke in the parking lot.") have a very diverse taste in music and dark eyeliner as well as dark clothing and accessories. Do not confuse Goths with their more whiny and poser-ific cousins, Emos. Do not interact with them and do not turn your back on them. Shoot them immediately or stab them with a ice pick (or a pen, whatever does the trick!)

1 History
2 Culture
- 2.1 Role of women in Gothic society
3 Individuality
4 Fears
5 The Great Gothic Kings
6 See also

[edit] History

A Gothic maiden has fallen in the great battle against the Chavi tribe.

The Goths were a violent East Germanic tribe of barbarians who proved to be a great nuisance for the Roman Empire from the 3rd to 8th centuries CE, primarily with their bad taste in music and dark eyeliner. The origins of the Goths and their enemies, the Emos, is described by Michæles Jordanes in his 'Gothica':

"You surely remember that in the beginning I said the Goths went forth from the bosom of the island of Satani with Berik, their king, sailing in only three ships toward the hither shore of Ocean, namely to Gothisatani. One of these three ships proved to be slower than the others, as is usually the case, and thus is said to have given the tribe their name, for in their language "Ermowus" means 'Miserables Degenerates'".

Before the 5th century the Goths were devided into sepereate subtribes; the Romantigoths lived in London, the Satanic-goths lived in stereotopia and the Minigothic kingdom was made in China.

[edit] Culture

King Plastaric of the minigoths was known for his collection of toupeés and wigs.

Many Goths really like stuff like this black chandelier relic.

Gothic culture is notorious for its themes of dark and macabre humor, fashion, and music, the latter which was very prominent in Gothic culture. Many historians have described Gothic culture as having a dark romanticism theme to it and being very creepyoverall. Black attire, often which also has spikes, are casually worn by both men and women. Dark colored clothing has an apparent sexual appeal in Gothic culture, and could include anyone in black, whether it is male or female. Dark eyeliner was also very popular amongst both sexes in Gothic culture, as was the color Blood Red. Loud, heavy music consisting of Death/Black/Doom/Industrial/Brutal Death/Funeral Doom/Extreme Gothic/Gothic Rock metal, is favorable to the Goths, as well as anything considered dark and creepy or of a Gothic theme. Goths are known for having a diverse religion, varying from Heathenism, Aryan Christianity, and Atheisism to even Zoroastrianism. They were noted as having a cultural fixation with silver symbols of the Agnostic/Pagan/Satanic/Wiccan varieties.

[edit] Role of women in Gothic society

Indisputable photographic evidence of an attractive Goth female.

Gothic women sometimes spend months making dreads, corsets, and other clothing for one event. They are also known to spend thousands of dollars on one pair of boots. They share a common trait with modern women in that for any event of n hours in length, they will take at least 2n hours to prepare, dress, and get made-up for it.

[edit] Individuality

Individuality does exist in Gothic cultures; however, non-Goths will find it hard to spot. There are thousands of Gothic tribes out there that dress in only black and to everyone other than emos they all look fairly similar to each other. Attire for females is short hair with a fringe covering half the face, torn black jeans or black skirt, fishnet or red and black stockings, massive black commando boots and some sort of random word or picture sewed onto the metal band shirt they all wear. Male Goths do not look and sound the same as their female counterparts (unlike the Emos). Swords and saxes are also worn.

Gothic society is more uniformed than individual; however, Gothic kings and queens usually dress in finer clothes than their vassals. The great Goði, the Gothic priests, also wear long robes of black and carry a large stick adorned with pagan runes. These people are important to Gothic society as the great make-up sessions and piercings are overseen by them. The Goði are also the speakers of runic law and hold great sacrifices to the Gods.

Typical Gothic male.

[edit] Fears

Goths fear no man and death in battle is an honour. Their major enemies are the Chavi tribe and the Emoæ tribe, whom they have come in conflict with many times. One such battle with the Chavi resulted in the death of the Gothic King Manseric I and the Chavi King Howman II.

Goths, living in a tribe based on great deads and winnings, fear disgrace. A disgraced Goth will usually sacrifice himself to the Goths, kill himself, sell himself into slavery or leave the Gothic tribe and become a ranger in Middle-earth. A good example of the Gothic fear of dishonour is the tale of Plastaric. Plastaric is "a most warlike little bugger" who eventually commits suicide, facing the aggression of the Alansheari and of the Hungry Hippos, who invaded his territories.

Contrary to the belief of some recent scholars, Goths are not afraid of the Bible; in fact a Bible translation in Gothic does exist.