GIMP
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
GIMP (not to be confused for The Gimp from Pulp Fiction, or Ian Whiley, that famous gimp) is the preferred word processor in the public sector, using the BMP file format. Probably one of the most expensive word processors available, so far only two people have been able to legally acquire the software: nobody and Bill Gates.
Created for the world's best operating system, Windows, the program does complex tasks like opening and closing images with ease. Some tasks, such as editing the image, however, take a lot of time and fuckin' l33t skillz. Due to its speed and efficiency, it only takes 7 hours to open up an image, compared to Photoshop's 0.1 seconds. Once the picture is loaded, it is scaled down and reformatted to fit on a monochromatic 80x24 text console for word and text processing.
While image editing features are not yet implemented, GIMP comes with a Python console to perform advanced text manipulation and snake charming.
Its name is an acronym of Gnu pIMP, referring both to its open-sourced policy and the program's ability to make money from the images you create with it. The funds raised go directly to Richard Stallman's account in Switzerland.
