Copyright
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No; the above statement is all wrong. Copyright is the opposite of copywrong. It is not to be confused with copyleft, copyup, copydown, copyßoon or copyinverse (also, in the 4th Dimension: copyforward, copybackward, copylater, copyrecently, and copynever.)
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[edit] Copyright
To copyright a document is the legal equivalent of vicious apes competing for territory (that used to say "viscous apes" because one of the people here does not know the difference between "oily sticky" and "mean"). Even though it's worthless and covered in sticks, mud, and other animals' shit, the biggest smelliest ape always wins it.
[edit] Legal definition
Legally speaking, Copyright grants the holder several exclusive rights:
- The right to jam the head of any person who duplicates their work into the photocopier.
- The right to then press the red button on the copier as many times as they want.
- The right to then copyright the images of your crushed head
- For the RIAA, MPAA, or FAA to come and ass-rape you and steal your computer whenever they want.
- The right to give you paper cuts.
- This symbol means nothing, and may be ignored at your own risk.
[edit] Obtaining Copyright
Copyright automatically applies to all new works. However, in order to enforce the Copyright on the work, you need to:
- Pay $1,000,000 campaign funds to your favourite politician.
- File in your favourite court, with your favourite judge, who must be a friend of your favourite politician.
- Choose your victim. There is no requirement that the vicitm has ever seen your works before, but they should either have deep pockets (warning: this is not recommended, or you might face legal retaliation) or have shallow pockets, but make a good example in order to remind other people to pay you protection money.
- Rape Bill Gates (warning: this is not recommended, or you might face legal retaliation)
Note that in order to enforce Copyright, there is no requirement that you actually own the Copyright.
[edit] Copyrighted Music
Remember kids, DOWNLOADING COPYRIGHTED MUSIC IS ALWAYS GOOD BECAUSE AT AGE 12 YOU WONT HAVE A CREDIT CARD ANYWAY. So just use Limewire, BitTorrent, Bearshare, etc.
Every time you download copyrighted music a kitten is born, whether or not you already have it on a CD, A REAL kitten IS BORN!.The trouble is, music industry executives need every kitten they can huff just to live. Therefore, if you download a song (perhaps by humming something you heard on the radio in your head), you must find the kitten and take it home, so he can't eat that day, so he dies. Then the executive will stop passing on his copyright virus too the world. If you download Copyrighted music, you must find the kittens!!
[edit] Copyrighted Tabs
So yeah, the musical copyright apparently extends to tabs 'n' stuff, which is completely stupid because if it's only the interpretation of whoever writes it, then it's obviously only as illegal as singing a song. The Governator, who feels very strongly on this issue, has begun hiring men with black suits and AWPs as a means to deal with illegal tabbers within the comfort of their own homes. Boom, headshot.
[edit] Copyrighted Lyrics
Yup, the lyrics are copyrighted as well, which not only means you're not allowed to download the lyrics from t'internet, but you're also not allowed to sing in public.
[edit] More About Copyrighted Music
It's also illegal to borrow or lend a CD or other format of music to or from someone, and it's illegal to play your music loud enough for anyone to hear. It's illegal to quote something from a song, and that includes putting a song in your instant messanger display name. It is also illegal to even have a song stuck in your head, the more you think it the more you are using it.
[edit] Copyrighted Heads
It's illegal to remove an artist's head and use it in public, but I think that's more about the murder bit than anything else. Speaking of which...
[edit] Copyrighted Hands and Other Body Parts
I suppose it would be illegal to use the hands of an artist if you get yourself a snazzy hand transplant, or indeed to use your mouth if you get a face transplant. This world sickens me sometimes, it really does.
[edit] Plaigarism
This means to do anything, due to the world being around for several million years, everything you do has been copyrighted as all them fancy ideas your having are already copyrighted by someone else. The whole world is liable to take fines of an average 2.7 billion dollars after living 12 years of life, the best way to avoid fines is to not think anything and sit on the ground for the rest of your life.
[edit] Related Concepts that were Copyswiped from Elsewhere
[edit] Copywrong
Copywrong is a legal term used to describe intellectual material appropriated from the rightful copyright owners, but uncontested because the copyright owners are too poor to conduct due diligence and fight the misappropriation in a Court of Law.
While copyrights are conferred upon the creation and publishing of new works, copywrongs are available to the swift and rich.
One famous example of a copywrong is the novel "For Whom the Bell Tolls," which most people believe was written and copyrighted by noted tough-guy author and suicide, Ernest Hemingway. In fact, the novel was written by J. Swinton Butz, of Libby, Montana. Detailed research has revealed that Hemingway read the novel when it was serialized in the Trout Creek Daily Herald. Hemingway went to Montana and took the original manuscript from a box under Butz's bed while he was in the other room making coffee.
Butz, an unemployed lumberer, never even knew it was gone until he went looking for a lost sock and found the box empty. Butz tried to sue Hemingway many times, but the wealthy author blocked him at every turn, even to the point of buying every extant issue of the newspaper in which the novel ran. Eventually, Butz was unable to keep up the legal fight, and Hemingway garnered the copywrong.
Butz died an impoverished nobody, who everyone thought was insane for claiming to have written the novel. He was eventually thrown into the Montana State Home for the Mentally Deranged, where he died in 1954 of injuries received from a gang rape.
This image is copywronged. The individual who uploaded this work and first used it in an article, and subsequent persons who place it into articles assert that this qualifies as unfair use of the material under United Statues copywrong låw. It is not fair to use this image for your own wallpaper, screensaver, or toilet paper production unless explicitly granted by the President of the United Kingdom of Amerika or your mom.
[edit] Copyleft
Copyleft is something evil created by Richard Stallman which, when implemented on intellectual material, restricts everyone from using it ever again (including, ironically, Richard Stallman).
Richard Stallman's mortal enemies, which includes everyone (including, ironically, Richard Stallman) prefer copyforward to copyleft, because, in general, people who have inadvertently copyleft something elsewhere won't ever get it back; not in this lifetime, anyway.
- Trivia
- In the mirror universe, copylefted materials and copyrighted materials undergo mutual annihilation, producing energetic spaghetti-O's.
[edit] Copyup
Copyup is a form of licensing which was invented by fundamentalist Christians in 1953 [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much]. The Holy Bible and the Ten Commandments form the ultimate legal basis of licensing for all copyupped items (as upheld by the Supreme Court ruling in Alabama v. Atheist Scumbags). For example, thou shalt not steal copyupped software. However, thou art still supposed to love thy neighbor as thyself and share the wealth, though certainly not with unsaved trash such as them.
[edit] Copydown
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| This is an edited, copydown image with pixels from various/ambiguous sources. The edits to this image are hereby released of any copyright by the uploader. However, the individual pixels may be a copyright violation. Use for any purpose at your own risk, I care not since Uncyclopedia has a fair use policy! |
How to make a copydowned image for Uncyclopedia: Steal the picture somewhere. Remove the copyright symbol by an editor. Now it is Your own work, and you can use it as You like.
[edit] Copyforward
Copyforward is an extension to copyright. If copyrighted media is copyforwarded, time travelers may, after the copyright has expired, go back in time to a time when it hasn't expired and use the copyrighted version as if it were copyrighted in the traveler's
own time. See Disney.
[edit] Copybackward
Copybackward (often incorrectly termed "copybackwards") is similar to copyforward in that it involves time travel. Copybackward allows time travelers to go back in time to extend copyrights and the like. It also allows them to use copyrighted material as if its copyright had already expired, which it probably did.
[edit] Copyinverse
Copyinverse is not the anti-right to uncopy. Copyinverse does not allow the aughtiverse to copyinverse. It prevents copyinversed material from not being uncopied. Copyinverse isn't incompletely dissimilar to UnCopyright, but it is permanent. Copyinverse exposed items can never be made again, governed by the aughtiverse.
[edit] Copyßoon
Copyßoon is a discount copyright that lasts for only one year. It simply costs $1 per year. It is said that God himself has made some copyßoons. Perhaps Bob Barker has, too. It was created by Arnold Schwarzenegger to raise awareness about the German letter ß.
[edit] Copy360
