Buckingham Palace

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“It's pronounced Buh-king-hm, NOT Buh-king-ham. Use the proper bloody pronunciation.”

~ The British on Those Bloody Yankies

“Dang... This place looks fun! Too bad the article didn't include any address...”

~ Tony Blair on Buckingham Palace

This article or section may be Overly British. Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Canadians and Australians may not understand anything at all. Don't change a thing to remedy this.

Welcome to Buckingham Palace, the biggest playground existing, where even Queen Elizabeth and Tony Blair come to play! Here, your kids and grandparents can enjoy a dive in the "bath where the balls connect" and the world famous "enormous pole of excitement" (one of Tony's favourites)! Let's have a quick tour, shall we?

Contents 1 Parking lot 2 The entrance 3 The staircases 4 First aid room 5 The Queen's room 6 History Lessons! 7 Conclusion 8 See Also

[edit] Parking lot

Our parking lot is THE place if you like waiting! We have one hundred lazy guards who are willing to tell you bad directions! Our guards also provide badly-drawn maps, keys that don't fit and dirtroad detours!

[edit] The entrance

When you finally reach the entrance, the fun begins! You can look at two Buckingham Guards... TOTALLY STANDING STILL! Isn't that amazing, kids!? You can kick them and THEY WILL REMAIN STILL! You can test your new collection of BeyBlades and they will STILL STAND STILL! You can even shoot them in the crotch with a 9mm gun, and surprisingly enough THEY WILL REMAIN STILL!!! AMAZING!

[edit] The staircases

Now here comes a fun part. When you're inside, there are loads of stairs, covered in red carpet! You can run up them, run down, you can CLIMB then, you can jump off them or break your ankle on them! Once you're finished, you can go to the...

[edit] First aid room

The first aid room is only 5 miles away from the Parking lot, so you can take your time and let that ankle heal there! Tony Blair will look after you! Be sure to have your buttplug with you, as Tony knows a few tricks!

[edit] The Queen's room

Legends and myths are told that there's a secret room inside the castle where Queen Elizabeth used to do her dirty laundry. Try to find it, lead us to it and get a FREE* icecream cone!

(*) Only available when you have collected all of our tax money for us. It's a hard job, you know...

[edit] History Lessons!

In here, you can play several games, like "Kampf" or "Gulf War"! Most of them can be unlocked by successfully surviving the other games without scratches and maimed body parts! Some of the history teachers include Adolf Hitler, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush (Only for the war in Iraq. He lacks knowledge of all other subject, although we doubt he knows anything about Iraq, too...)

[edit] Conclusion

Buckingham Palace is a fun place to go for a typical father-and-son-day! The whole family can enjoy the pleasures of Tony Blair and the old demented whore who calls herself a queen! Have fun, and don't forget the buttplug!

[edit] See Also

• England
• Tony Blair
• Buttplug

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The Complete Tourist's Guide to London

	Places of Interest	London Bridge | Tower Bridge | Mornington Crescent | River Thames | London Eye | Big Ben | Houses of Parliament | House of Lords | Scotland Yard | Thames Ditton | Surbiton | Buckingham Palace | Millennium Dome | British Museum | 10 Downing Street
	Places of Disinterest	Isle of Dogs | High Holborn | Hackney Empire | BBC Studios | Peckham
	People of Interest	Chelsea Pensioners | Prime Minister
	Culture and Education	London Symphony Orchestra | University College London | Cockney-English dictionary | St. Chav's Cathedral | Wimbledon | London F.C. | British Library
	Getting Around	London Underground | London Overground | Tube | London Bus | Hackney Cab