Ass
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“Behind every great man, there is an ass.”
~ Sir Rutherfeld III on ass
“ASS!!!”
~ Tourettes Guy on Ass
“Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!”
~ My dad on every painful family gathering I've ever had the displeasure of attending
“I'm still trying to figure out how to wipe it”
~ Edward Scisshorhands on his ass
“GET OUT!!!!”
~ My friend's hemmorhoidic dad on his ass
An ass is a donkey. Scientists have been in a heated dispute on the matter of naming a donkey's hindquarters. Though asses are animals, they are kicked by little boys throughout history due to the word ass.
One of the three most popular parts of the human body, the ass has been the butt of many jokes and a massive area of focus by the public at large.
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[edit] General ass info
Women's asses can be extremely sexy, but their primary function is exporting brown chocolate. If you get excited by the following content, you are in good company.
if say the word ASS you will be attacked by Canadians
[edit] Asses in other Cultures Levels of Hell
Many asses exist in different dimensions. In other words, asses don't just come from the United States or France. The Magnificent Democratic Online-Gaming Republic of South Corea (MDOGRSC) Have many, many asses (because they're computers are better then mine.). Usually in the form of Asian chicks or Pancakes
[edit] Rimming
Frowned upon in the upper class socialite circles, the rimjob is a sexual practice that has been enjoyed for centuries around the world. Exceptionally common in Calcutta, India; Birmingham, Birminghamville; Birminghamton, Bolsover, Mianus, Saskatchewan; the Dnieper River in Russia, your mother's bedroom (belive us; we know.), Las Vegas, Nevada, USA, and Rob's Bedroom too. But really, what can't you find in Vegas these days?
[edit] Religious Restrictions
Muslims cannot use the human ass for sex. Vaginas, however, are another matter. Just ask Bizzy Bone.
Christians and Jehovah's Witnesses probably should not use the ass for sex, as it may anger their boss of love, who will then throw them into a pit of rape snakes for all eternity.
[edit] The Point of Anal Sex
It is said that Chris Veader might have invented Anal sex, although many argue to the topic.[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] Recent theories put forward by Dr. Svendsen of the Swedish Institute for Rectal Research (S.I.R.R), suggests that while it is common knowledge that the penis is inserted in the woman´s vagina to, among other things, induce a womb-like state in men, it is now thought that inserting it anally will produce a sort of getting-back-at-the-old-man type of feeling. The father-figure is often thought to be an "anal" character in Freudian and other schools of psychology, and it seems only logical to think that ramming your Johnson up your lady´s or guy's Hershey Highway is just another way of saying "Up yours, Dad!". Dr. Svendsen has been much criticized lately for being "full of shit" by the Swedish medical community, which makes you wonder if that isn´t the man´s whole point to begin with.
Despite his claims to the contrary, Al Gore did not invent anal sex.
In Polish language, word 'pupa' means 'buttocks' and elbow bacon, either or it depends on context.
Many alien cultures contribute anal sex (Probes) to children.
[edit] See Also
- Booty Contest
- Donkey
- Arse Photos
- Smartass
- Gluteus Maximus
- The Blonde Ones' Arse
- Ass Man
- Batista
- Woodrow Wilson
- 50 Cent
- Soulja Boy
- George W. Bush
- Butt-Birth
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