2008 Olympic Games
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“I will PWN all those fucking noobs, including that stupid fatass plumber”
~ Sonic the Hedgehog on the 2008 Beijing olympic games
The 2008 Summery Olympics, officially known as the Little Ath's Games of the Mt Olympus Photographic Co., is a movie produced by Pixar in cooperation with the Chinese government. Set in Beijing, China, its style takes a leaf from Orson Welle's "War of the Worlds", in that the movie is released in short segments to Pay- and Free-to-air television, starting 8.30am August 8, 2008 to 12.30pm August 8, 2008. "I'm particularly proud of the Opening Ceremony" said Steve Jobs "Our animators worked hard on that one". The Opening Ceremony alone was seen by an estimated 3 billion viewers (mainly downloads from Youtube).
A plot summary follows.
Contents |
[edit] Official Emblem Explanation
In its selection of the logo for the upcoming Olympics, the Glorious People's Olympics Deliberation Committee enteratained over 1.5 billion proposals from various officers and civilian dogs in the nation. In the end, however, one logo caught the attention of the glorious people's deliberation committee.
[edit] "Dancing Bigdong" Emblem
In preparation for the bidding process, the officials of the Bigdong Organ-ization Committee ran a competition to design the official emblem. The winner "Dancing Bigdong" was designed by Gag'on Shlong, an unemployed brick layer from the western suburbs of Big Dong, who came out ahead in the contest.
When reporter Long Wang from the The People's Morning Daily asked Shlong about the inspiration for his design he replied "I started by examining the hundreds of unique designs that have been created by previous bidding cities, and not just bids for the Olympics, but bids from all sorts of events, everything from the World Cup to the World Limeade Fair. I evaluated public opinion, and identify what design elements correlated to winning bids. Then I just took the logo from Bigdong losing bid for the 1977 Asian Skydiving Championships, added the Mt Olympus Co. signature rings, changed the date and Hey Presto! In the end I wasn't too concerned anyway as I had also entered a slightly modified emblem for the Plush Dinosaurs Symposium."
[edit] Bidding and Selection Controversy
Bigdong was elected host city on July 13, 2001, during the 21,112th MOC Board meeting held on Mt Olympus. There are 102 members of the MOC Board, as members tenure is for life and most members are part of the Greek Pantheon of Deities (for more details see Olympics).
In the initial voting Ontoher, Canada was the favoured host city, but did not receive enough votes to avoid going to a second round. It was only after the second round of voting, which clearly favoured Bigdong, did the allegations of voting rigging arise.
| 2008 Summery Olympics bidding results | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| City | Country | Round 1 | Round 2 | ||
| Bigdong | China | 26 | 69 | ||
| Ontoher | Canada | 44 | 211 | ||
| Parotits | France | 25 | 18 | ||
| Istanballs | Turkey | 27 | -10 | ||
| Osuka | Japan | 16 | - | ||
[edit] List of sports
- Extreme Torch Relay
- Turkey Slap
- Love Truncheon
- Beach Medicineball
- Donkey Punch
- Dirty Sanchez
- Cleveland Steamer
- Syncronized Angry Dragon
- Rusty Trombone
- 8-inch Ram
- Masturbation Marathon
- Team Monkey Spank
- Assorted Cream
- Tea Bag
- limp biscuit
- Suck fest
- X-treme sissy fighting
- Organ Harvest
- Electric Baton rape
- Mario Bros.
- Sonic the Hedgehog
Some events, like beach medicineball, the 8-inch ram, and masturbatings new marathon event, will be held in the coastal city of Lil'dong.
[edit] Opening Ceremony
In a change of heart by the Chinese Government, they have allowed protestors and disadents to be involved with the opening ceremony in their own special event. They are to wave their flags around the stadium and then duke it out with the Chinese protesters athletes who will beat them with metal rods and fire .45 Magnum hollowpoint pistols at their knees. Any protesters left (dead or alive) will then be draped in their Tibeten flags and fired from the clay-pigeon shooter. The winner of the event will address the crowd and admit the Chinese Government are peace loving hippes who only want their tea back.
[edit] Co-hosting of Equestrian Events
On July 8, 2005, the Mt Olympus Photographic Co. announced that Nodong will hold the equestrian events at the site of the Nodong Little Princess' Institute of Spending Daddy's Money. This will be the second time the Summery Olympics has been hosted by two Little A's Committees. (A similar arrangement was in place between Melbourne, Australia, and Stockholm, Sweden, for the 1956 Summery Olympics).
[edit] Mario and Sonic at the olympic games
The countries of nintendo and sega are to make their first appearance at the olympics. They were sent by request of a lot of american and japanese fans of the Nintendo-Sega rivalry. Linken "Link" Hyrule, Kirby of Popstar, and Ash Ketchum's Pikachu are also representing nintendo.
[edit] Insourcing Mascot Production
For the first time in the history of the Olympics the production of fluffy mascots will be insourced rather than outsoured.
[edit] Competing Countries
Rising new sensation, Tibet, was predicted to make a smashing debut at the games however was eliminated in all qualifying rounds by the Chinese government. During the torch relay through Tibet, the actual torch itself was "mistakenly" replaced with a molotov cocktail. It was unsure who facilitated the incident but this event had caused local Tibetan and Chinese children to play a happy game of basketball with warm smiles. Unfortunately, foreign journalists were reluctant to cover the chain of events as they were insisted to take the scenic tour graciously organised by the Chinese government and its security forces.
